


What We Needed

by LivingInWonderland



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bipolar Ian, Explicit Language, F/F, F/M, Gallavich, Getting Back Together, Jealousy, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Mickey, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-21 21:16:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7405135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LivingInWonderland/pseuds/LivingInWonderland
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey and Ian are both trying to move on from their break up. </p>
<p>Trying, but failing miserably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What break up?

  
  
He’s almost asleep when he’s abruptly interrupted by his phone blaring from underneath his pillow, Yev had just gone down for a nap and the kid had been teething so it’s been a fucking blessing that for once the kid went to sleep without too much hassle, and now the moment that Mickey can _actually_ maybe take a fucking nap himself, his stupid fucking phone goes off.   
  
He grabs it not bothering to check the caller ID because the only person that actually calls him these days is fucking Svetlana, and that bitch should know that he would be napping right now so he answers it with a loud and angry “What!!” for a minute all he hears is silence and he’s about to rip Svetlana a new one for wasting his time when he hears an unfamiliar person clear their throat and a somewhat hesitant female (that is definitely not his wife) finally speaks.  
  
“Ummm. Hi Mickey, It’s Fiona” He’s taken aback for a moment, stunned by the caller. He hasn’t heard from any of _them_ for almost a year and a half, the last person he talked to was Debbie, she started popping around the day after he was dumped by her brother. He had told her to fuck off, told her that he never wanted to see or hear from another Gallagher again and then slammed the door in her face. And that was that. She tried again every so often, but every time he told her where to go.  
  
Yeah, he still saw them from time to time in the neighbourhood, but whenever that would happen he would cross the street, leave the alibi… he’d do whatever the fuck he had to do to avoid them at all costs. And now, Fiona was calling him.   
  
He wanted to hang up, his grip on the phone was tightened and he could feel his fingers on his other hand twitching at the thought of pressing the end call button, but his curiosity was piqued, he knew there had to be a very good reason for her to be calling and he wanted to know why.   
  
“The fuck you want?” He grunted out rudely, he was pacing his bedroom, biting his nails in anticipation of what she had to say. After all this time, he knew that for her to be calling him, it had to be pretty important and he was worried.   
  
“Look, I know things are weird and we don’t really talk. You’re under no obligation to do this for me. I totally understand why you…”   
  
He just wanted her to get to the fucking point, so he interrupted her, barking out over the phone with a voice laden with frustration, nervousness and fear.   
  
“Just spit it the fuck out Fiona, what do you want?” He heard her take a shaky breathe, he knew before the words even came out of her mouth what she was going to say, about _who_ this phone call was about. Fuck, who was he kidding the moment he heard her voice he knew it was about… _him_.  
  
“It’s Ian.”   
  
He knew it, but it didn’t stop the dryness in his mouth forming, the drop in the pit of his stomach or the bile rising up quickly to his throat. He swallowed hard, taking his own shaky breath before replying.  
  
“He alright?”  
  
“No. He’s kind of a mess. His meds have stopped working, at least we think they have, he’s been taking them though so it has to be the only reason for his… behaviour. He won’t let us take him to a doctor”  
  
Mickey didn’t even know that Ian was even _taking_ the fucking meds in the first place. But after all the research that he had done when they first found out that Ian was Bipolar, he knew that if he was taking them and they weren’t working, if they didn’t get it handled quickly, Ian’s health was in danger again. He let out a sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose.  
  
“What am I supposed to do about it? He’s got a boyfriend right? Let him deal with this shit”   
  
Yeah he might not see the Gallagher’s, he might try to avoid them like the fucking plague that they were, but he couldn’t avoid _hearing_ about the fuckers.  
  
Svetlana, thank fuck, had learned quickly that bringing up ‘carrot boy’ was not to be done around Mickey, but sometimes he still overheard shit from other people. He’d been at the Alibi when he heard Vee tell Kev that they had plans to have dinner at the Gallagher’s and that Ian’s _new boyfriend_ would be there. He’d got particularly hammered that day, like, black out and piss your pants Frank Gallagher style drunk. The fucking irony was not lost on him the next morning.  
  
“The thing is. Shit, he’s like delusional or something right now. He kind of thinks… I dunno, he just keeps asking for you. I think he’s forgotten that you two aren’t together anymore”   
  
Mickey immediately stopped pacing, completely dumbfounded by Fiona’s words.  
  
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He didn’t mean to yell, but fucking seriously? After all the shit he’s been doing to try and forget about that asshole and now said asshole actually has the fucking nerve to forget about the break up. Could his day/ week/month/year fucking LIFE, get any more fucked up?   
  
“I know. I know. We just need him to go to the doctor but he’s locked himself in the bathroom and he says he won’t come out until you come home. I’m sorry to do this to you, I really am. Please, can you just come over? We’ve tried basically everything.”   
  
Mickey stayed silent, pacing his bedroom again. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t go over there and… do what exactly? Pretend like his heart hadn’t been ripped to shreds by Ian? Help the Gallagher’s out when not one of them fucking gave a shit about him when that bitch Sammi was shooting at him, literally a second after Ian had dumped him on their shitty front porch.   
  
“Mickey there’s fucking dangerous shit in there. Razors, pills… things he could hurt himself with. I wouldn’t ask you but… Please…”   
  
And that’s what did it, that’s what made up his mind. He might be fucking hulking out with anger over Ian and his family, but at the end of the day, as much as he wishes he didn’t or pretended that he didn’t, he still gave a shit about Ian. The thought of him harming himself, maybe even ending his fucking life… Mickey couldn’t handle having that happen, especially if he could do something to stop it  
  
“Alright, alright, fuck. I’ll be over in a while, just let me… fuck, I just have to get someone to watch the kid alright. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
He dropped Yev off at Vee’s with Svetlana, considering it was her and Yev’s home now too it seemed like the best option. She bitched and moaned about him backing out of his fatherly responsibilities, but he just ignored her, he’d just have to deal with her shit another time.  
  
He made his way to the Gallagher’s house, as he opened the gate the front door swung open and Debbie came running down the stairs almost bowling him over as she lept at him hugging him tight and blabbering away at a million miles per hour.  
  
“Thank god! Please Mickey, you have to help him. We’re all freaking out. He’s been weird for days but no one really picked up on it, I mean, we did, but it happens sometimes like, when he’s in a manic phase. The pills level it out but it’s still there under the surface and you can tell that the pills are like, suppressing it… but it usually passes and then he’s back to himself. It’s never been this bad. He’s been in there for hours now. He’s muttering to himself and we can hear him pacing back and forth over and over again. Every-time one of us goes in there he just yells at us to fuck off, then when we try to talk to him, he just keeps saying ‘ I want Mick’,’ I’ll come out when Mickey gets home.’ Fiona tried to explain to him that you wouldn’t be coming here and why, she’s such an idiot sometimes coz then he really fucking flipped out. He started screaming at us… I’m… I’m really scared for him.”   
  
She continued hugging him as she spoke. He could see that she was trying to hold tears back. He’d always kind of liked Debbie, probably because she reminded him of Ian. They had the same red hair, pale freckled skin, same kind heart but they could both be as tough as nails when they needed to be. Mickey pried her off of him, awkwardly patting her on the back. He had never been good at trying to comfort someone, fuck, she was lucky he actually let her hug him for so long. He attempted to smile at her, but it probably came across as more of a grimace. He finally began making his way inside the house once she let him go.   
  
“How long’s he been in there?”   
  
He took his coat off and hung it up on the coat rack by the door. He was taking his time trying to psych himself up for his first time back at this house since that day, his first time seeing Ian since that day too. It was overwhelming, his heart was pounding and even though the weather was cool, he could feel sweat beads forming on his brow. Debbie had clearly become impatient with him and began pulling at his arm heading towards the stairs as she answered him.  
  
“Ummm… Since like 6am I think. I was up feeding Franny and I heard someone walking from room to room slamming the doors, we all kind of woke up and when we came out Ian was just like, searching the place and then when Fiona stopped him and asked him what was wrong, he just asked where you were. We didn’t know what to do or say. He just kept looking for you and then when Fi told him you wouldn’t be coming home and said that we needed to take him to the doctor he ran and hid in the bathroom. We’ve been trying to get him out all morning. We didn’t want to bother you, I know you hate us. But we had no choice, I’m sorry”   
  
They were now making their way up the stairs and he looked over at her and just shrugged.   
  
“Sfine, just… let’s get this shit show over with.”  
  
As he reached the top of the stairs he was met with a sea of anxious faces. Fiona was with Liam standing by the bathroom door; Carl was leaning on the stairs staring at the door also. As he made his way closer all eyes landed on him. Fiona grabbed his arm and pulled him into a quick hug, before pulling him towards the door. He stood there for a while running his hand through his hair, mentally preparing himself to face Ian again after all this time. He just stood there listening through the door, he could hear Ian talking to himself on the other side, Mickey heard his name being repeated every so often by Ian. It hurt to hear him speak, to hear his voice again after so long. He swallowed the lump in his throat, and then cleared it with a cough before he knocked on the door.   
  
“Yo Ian. Umm, it’s Mickey. You wanna unlock the door and let me in man?”   
  
The door swung open and he was met with Ian’s beaming face. He took a moment to look him over; he had changed yet again since he last saw him. He had built some of his muscle back up, but had gained some weight as well, a side effect from the meds. He cringed internally when he realised he remembered the list of possible side effects from Ian taking his meds from all the fucking research he had done back in the day when they were still together. Ian was still tall as all hell, he looked fucking good though, which sucked.  
  
As he took in Ian’s face he could see that sparkle in his eyes again, but it was more dangerous, he was definitely manic. His eyes were rimmed red and his cheeks were slightly damp, Mickey realised that Ian had obviously been crying recently. He smiled big and bright, too bright, at Mickey before he grabbed him and hugged him tight. Mickey couldn’t help but flinch at the contact. It felt so wrong to be hugged by Ian, but at the same time it felt good and like home and he hated it, he wanted to push him away, but he knew he couldn’t. Not right now anyway.   
  
“Mickey?? They told me that you left? I knew you’d come back! Where were you?”   
  
He wanted to hit him, yell at him, tell him that it was him that left Mickey, it was always him leaving. But he didn’t, his hands tightened into fists and he could feel his nails biting into the flesh of his palms releasing that sweet sting of pain there, moving his attention slightly away from the pain in his heart. Ian was hugging him so tight now, he could barely breathe, Ian nuzzled into his neck, his lips ghosting over his skin sending shivers down Mickey’s spine. He pulled away at the contact, as much as Ian would allow him too and looked into Ian’s scared and worried face.   
  
“S’alright man, I’m here. I ahhh… Had the kid today, so umm…”   
  
Thankfully Fiona interrupted him, he had no idea what he was going to say anyway. Fiona gently grabbed one of Ian’s arms away from the hold he had on Mickey, turning him to face Fiona, rubbing along his arm as she spoke to him soothingly. Ian’s other hand maintained it’s grip on Mickey’s bicep.  
  
“Ian, we have an appointment today and we’re gonna be late kiddo, you wanna head down to the car?”   
  
Ian took his eyes away from Mickey briefly to look at Fiona in confusion, but he returned them back to Mickey’s face as he answered her.  
  
“Huh? Ummm… Ok. You coming Mick?”  
  
Mickey wanted to run away so bad, this was pure fucking torture pretending that things were fine between him and Ian. That Ian hadn’t moved on and got his life sorted leaving Mickey to go back to his lonely life living in the trash pile of the Milkovich house of horrors. It was even worse now that he was the only one there. Svetlana had moved in with Kev and Vee now that they were in their fucked up three way relationship. Mandy was still gone and all his brothers were locked up.  
  
“I can’t man, I gotta go home and…”   
  
Ian’s grip tightened on his arm, bordering on painful. He furrowed his brows and spoke gruffly at Mickey.   
  
“But this is your home? With me?”   
  
Mickey was losing it, this _was_ his home, _Ian_ was his home. But he had taken that all away and how dare he make Mickey think that he could have him, how dare he make him remember what his touch felt like, what he smelt like… He needed to get away right now, he couldn’t do this. His eyes darted around the room in panic, he couldn’t look at Ian, he tried to get out of his grasp but Ian’s fingers were digging into his skin, his grasp on Mickey’s arm becoming a death grip.  
  
“I just… I can’t”   
  
He stumbled the words out, trying to shake himself free, but Ian held on, now freeing his other arm from Fiona and pulling Mickey closer, nuzzling into him again, small sobs coming out in hot breath's against him.   
  
“Please, you have to come with me, I’ve… I’ve missed you. Please don’t leave me, don’t… leave… me…”   
  
He pulled and pulled at Mickey until Mickey found his face pressed against Ian’s shoulder, he carded his hand through Ian’s hair trying to soothe him as his crying became louder and harder. Mickey looked at Debbie and Fiona over Ian’s shoulders, who were both crying quietly, clearly scared for their brothers mental state.  
  
“Fuck… I…”   
  
He wanted to run, needed to get the fuck away. But with Ian sobbing violently into his neck, his tears staining his shirt, and with the sad eyes he was getting from the other Gallagher’s, he knew he fucking had to help, he was a sucker for punishment and for Ian, no matter what.   
  
“Ok, just… just calm the fuck down, alright? M’comin’ with you. Just… let’s just fucking go alright?”   
  
Ian didn’t answer but he did nod against Mickey’s neck and his crying became a little softer. Mickey began making his way down the stairs with a giant ginger monkey wrapped around him, holding on for dear life. Fiona was giving instructions to Debbie and Carl, leaving Liam behind with them. Once they were out at the car he tried to put Ian in the front seat but he wouldn’t let go of Mickey, he looked over at Fiona for help but all she did was give him an apologetic smile and nod her head towards the backseat. Mickey sighed loudly and made his way to the back seat with Ian.   
  
The car ride was quiet, Fiona kept glancing at them through the rear view mirror, Ian snuggled into Mickey’s side sleeping softly now that he had stopped crying. Mickey was just staring out the window, his fingers were itching to stroke Ian’s hair again, run his fingers along his arm… any type of touch he could get. But he felt like he was taking advantage of Ian’s mental state by doing so, so he kept one hand in his lap and the other on the back of the seat.  
  


 

* * *

 

 

  
  
  
Mickey found himself in the doctor’s office, Ian still firmly attached to his side and Fiona sitting on the other side of Ian. The doctor had checked Ian over, awkwardly because Ian wouldn’t let Mickey go. The doctor was now seated on the other side of his desk looking through Ian’s thick medical record.  
  
“Ok then… So, we’ve established that you have been taking all your medication’s Ian and I believe that the current anti-psychotic that you are taking isn’t doing its job properly by the sounds of things. I’d like you to try a different prescription and we can see how that works out for you, Ok Ian?”   
  
Ian didn’t respond, Mickey glanced over at his face and watched as Ian furrowed his brow in confusion.  
  
“Ian, I need for you to think back over the last few days, about how you’ve been feeling? Can you do that for me?”   
  
Ian smiled and looked at Mickey as he answered.   
  
“I’m fine. I’ve got Mickey”   
  
Mickey couldn’t look at his face so he looked over at the generic painting of a fucking tree behind the doctors desk, he could feel everyone’s eyes on him though. Fuck, why did he have to sit through this?   
  
“Ian… Can you remember your last visit with me? We talked about Mickey then, do you remember?”   
  
He felt Ian’s hand loosen its grip on his arm slowly. Heard Ian shifting in his seat, and then felt the grip tighten again as Ian began to stutter out words in confusion. Mickey’s heart sped up.   
  
“I… We… But…”   
  
Ian was breathing heavily; Mickey looked over at him as Ian looked at Mickey’s face with such mixed emotions. God, this must be so hard for him too. The doctor cleared his throat to get Ian to look at him before he spoke again.   
  
“It’s alright Ian. I know things can get a little confusing for you sometimes, but try and remember for me”   
  
Ian stared at Mickey for a while and then slowly he untangled himself, Mickey felt the warmth of Ian’s body leave him and although he felt a small amount of relief at the loss of contact, he also felt fear that that would be the last time Ian touched him. He could see the realisation hit Ian, Ian’s brow furrowed in confusion, then shock. He knew that they weren’t together anymore. Mickey felt like Ian had just broken up with him all over again.   
  
“I… fuck… shit… I fucked up didn’t I? I… we’re not… Mickey isn’t… Oh fuck”   
  
Ian began to panic, Mickey watched on as Ian hid his face in his hands and he could hear Ian’s breathing become erratic. He wanted to reach out and help him, but he was scared that he would only make it worse. Luckily the doctor come over and crouched down in front of Ian, placing his hands gently on his knees.  
  
“It’s Ok Ian, take a couple of deep breaths for me. Very good. Could Ian and I have a moment alone? If the two of you wouldn’t mind just waiting in the other room for now.”   
  
Mickey looked over at Fiona, she nodded as she sat up, gently laying her hand on Ian’s shoulder.  
  
“We’ll be right outside Ok sweetheart?”   
  
Ian nodded at her. As Mickey stood up he heard Ian speaking to him, he looked at Ian for a moment, but Ian wouldn’t meet his eyes.  
  
“I’m really sorry Mickey… I’m so fucking sorry”   
  
He didn’t know what to say. He probably should’ve said that is was fine, or even just Ok. But he couldn’t, because it wasn’t fine or Ok. This had been fucking painful. He knew it wasn’t Ian’s fault that his brain fucked him around, but it still hurt and he was still angry. So he just followed Fiona out to the waiting room.   
  
She took a seat and picked up a magazine, Mickey just stood there. He wasn’t sure what to do.   
  
“You gonna sit down?”   
  
He looked over at Fiona as she spoke to him, she continued to flip through the magazine she had in her hands. She sighed and put it back on the coffee table folding her arms across her chest and looking up at him expectantly.   
  
“I think I should just go, think I’ve done what you guys needed me to do.” She shook her head at him as she reached for another magazine, Mickey could see the nervousness and trepidation basically rolling off of her. He knew that she was freaking out over Ian, wondering what the hell was going on in the other room.  
  
“It’s a fair walk home, just wait it out and we can just drop you off after.”   
  
She looked at him and patted the seat beside her. He shook his head again, he had done what was needed, Ian didn’t need him now that he remembered that they had broken up. He needed to leave.   
  
“I think the ride home will be awkward as shit, think he’ll be pretty weirded out after this so…”  
  
“The doctor might wanna talk to us afterwards; he usually fills us in on stuff after Ian’s sessions if he’s had some sort of episode or if he’s particularly worried about something.”   
  
She said it so easily, like he should know this shit. He felt like the whole Gallagher clan was delusional, acting like the break up hadn’t happened, that the last year and a half they haven’t all been avoiding him, and he them.   
  
“Not really any of my business though… Has… Has he done shit like this before?”   
  
She sat there thinking for a while, Mickey thought she was probably trying to figure out just how much she should tell him.  
  
“Not quite like this. It was hard for the first year, getting him on the right doses and shit but he’s been doing pretty well lately. I thought everything was really going well for him, he seemed happy. I don’t know what this all means, this break down.”   
  
“Probably nothing, quack said his pills weren’t working, that’s probably all it is”   
  
He wasn’t sure if he was saying it to reassure her or himself at this point.   
  
“Yeah… Maybe, I hope so. It’s just that…”   
  
She trailed off and looked up at him with her big doe eyes full of sadness; she bit her bottom lip as if to keep herself from spilling some secret. It pissed Mickey off, if she knows something she should just come right the fuck out and say it.  
  
“What?” He growled at her, causing the old lady across from them to jump in her seat at the sound of his voice   
  
“The doctor said Ian mentioned you on his last visit, I didn’t know that. He doesn’t talk about you at home, ever.”   
  
That hurt, he wasn’t exactly surprised though. But it still hurt to hear.  
  
“Yeah well, who fucking knows? Maybe he just bitches about how much of an asshole I am. Look, I gotta go, just… if this shit happens again, find some other fucking way to deal with it. I can’t be fucking doing this shit again. I have a fucking life you know”  
  
Before she could even reply he was out of there, storming through the doors, he didn’t stop walking until he was a few blocks away. Once he finally stopped he looked around, he was completely fucking lost. He tried to listen out for the ‘L’ so he could try and get his bearings back, but he heard nothing. He just kept walking along the main road heading in the furthest direction away from the clinic, right at this point he didn’t really give a fuck if he ever made it back to his neighbourhood.  
  
He doesn’t know how long he’d been walking for but he was tired, hungry and cold by the time a station wagon pulled up beside him, he looked over at it and realised it was Fiona, Ian was in the back seat staring out the window in the opposite side of the street to Mickey   
  
“C’mon Mickey, get in the car and let me take you home. You gotta pick Yev up from Vee’s right? That’s a house over from mine, might as well bum a free lift Aye?”   
  
He hesitated for a few moments, he really did have to get Yev, and he was fucking exhausted physically and emotionally. He looked at Ian in the backseat. He didn’t even register Mickey’s presence he continued to stare out the window. Mickey just sighed and opened the car door.   
  
“Fucking fine”   
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
The car ride was quiet; Mickey didn’t turn around once to look at Ian, even though his whole body was fighting the urge to turn around for at least one quick peek. Fiona was nervously tapping her fingers on the steering wheel as they made their way back to their neighbourhood. It was the only sound filling up the silent car. She cleared her throat as they pulled up to the front of the Gallagher house.  
  
“Thanks for today Mickey” She said as they stepped out of the car, he chanced a quick look at Ian and found that Ian was staring at him. He swallowed and turned his attention back to Fiona.   
  
“Yeah, whatever. Don’t make it a fucken’ habit or nothin’. I gotta get Yev” he walked off before either of them could reply and headed off to Kev and Vee’s cursing the Gallagher’s the whole way there.


	2. Unexpected and Unwanted Friendships

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have had so much fantastic feedback from just the first chapter! Thank you all so much!!
> 
> Hope this Chapter is just as good. I have some great plans for this fic and I really hope you enjoy it as much as I am enjoying writing it!!
> 
> Comments are always so helpful, i love hearing your ideas and feedback. Keeps me motivated!

Mickey was fucking exhausted, Yev had kept him up most of the night because of his teeth (yet again) and he was struggling to keep his eyes open and it was only 11am. He was watching cartoons with the kid, lounging around when he heard a knock on the front door. He was so not in the mood to deal with people today. He ignored it and stayed silent; hoping that whoever it was would just fuck off if he didn’t answer them. The knocking came back, harder and louder and Mickey still stayed put, glaring daggers in to the wood of the door, maybe he could psychically tell them to fuck off with his mind because he lacked the energy to actually yell it out today. Nope, knocking came back in full force, more insistent than fucking ever.  
  
Who the fuck knock’s at the Milkovich door anyways?   
  
“It’s fucking open, just come the fuck in already!!”   
  
In walked Debbie Gallagher with a baby strapped to her front and arms full with plastic containers of, what Mickey assumed to be, food.   
  
Since Ian’s little break down a week ago, he hadn’t heard anything from any of the Gallagher’s. Nobody had called him to let him know if Ian was okay, not that he had really expected them to keep him updated or anything. It’s not like they were exactly friendly to one another these days.   
  
So he was a little shocked at seeing Debbie Gallagher come bounding through his front door like it was a common occurrence. The moment he registered that it was a Gallagher in his house, his heart had sped up and only one possible thought as to why she was here was running over and over in his mind…   
  
Was something wrong with Ian again?  
  
“Hi Mickey, I baked a whole heap of cookies, slices and I made a heap of spaghetti. Being a bored stay at home mom has made me crazy for baking, so I thought I’d bring you some over”  
  
She said it in that stupid happy bubbly voice of hers as she walked straight past him, smiling as she made her way into the kitchen placing the containers on any free surface she could find in there. He was still a little stunned at her arrival and it took him a moment to breathe a thankful breath that this wasn’t another Ian crisis call. Once he composed himself, he finally spoke to the redheaded girl.   
  
“You got like a hundred fucking mouths to feed over there, why you bringing me your fucking scraps Pippy Longstocking?”   
  
He made no action to move from the lounge, fuck her, he didn’t invite her over. He wasn’t going to be hospitable, no fucking way. He was still pissed at all those fuckers.   
  
“Fiona eats at work, she gets free food there ya know? Lips at college, Carl stays with his girlfriend most of the time now and Ian’s usually always at his… It’s just me and Liam and Franny usually, and Franny’s on the boob so…”   
  
He screwed his face up at her as she entered the living room and placed her baby down next to Yev who squealed in delight at the new friend to play with. What the fuck is going on here? Why the fuck is she making herself and her spawn comfortable at his fucking house? He felt like he was stuck in some fucking twilight zone episode.  
  
“Do not wanna hear about your teats, Milk Maiden. You’ve left the food, pick up your rugrat and fuck the fuck off now”   
  
Instead of doing what he rudely demanded her to do, she completely ignored his nasty tone and harsh words, and instead made her way back to the kitchen and began putting the containers away blabbering on as if they were buddies or something. Jesus, she was so much like Ian, completely Ignorant to Mickey’s hostility. Bitch probably found it endearing like Ian used to. God, he was not in the mood for this shit.   
  
“I’ll put some of this in the freezer and the rest in the fridge; you want a beer while I’m over here? I could heat up some of this pasta too if you’d like”   
  
Well the bitch was clearly not leaving anytime soon so Mickey thought he might as well take advantage of the situation. Now that he was living alone the place was a pig sty, he ate out most of the time and the thought of eating a decent meal and not having to find some clean dishes to eat off of was diminishing his urge to push the girl out of his house.  
  
“Uhhh… Fuck it, knock yourself out”   
  
He lay back on the couch and continued to watch the TV while the kids lay on the floor with their toys and Debbie did her woman thing in the kitchen. Eventually she made her way back over with a beer and a plate full of spaghetti and fuck did it smell good, he honestly couldn’t remember the last time he had a proper home cooked meal. The last time was probably at the Gallagher house but he tried not to dwell on that thought too much as he began shovelling the food into his mouth. Debbie had sat down on the floor with the babies and looked up at him in disgust as he noisily ate his food.   
  
“You eat like a pig”   
  
He didn’t even swallow his mouthful when he replied, spitting sauce down his face as he said  
  
“Don’t like it, go the fuck home then”   
  
To his surprise, or maybe not so much considering it seemed to be a Gallagher trait not to fuck off when they were told, she just continued playing with Franny and Yev. He chose to ignore her as well and continued eating his food, maybe purposefully slurping the spaghetti just so he could see her face scrunch up at his ‘grossness’, as she called it. He had to get his small pleasures wherever he could these days and making people uncomfortable was entertaining.   
  
“Sooo… You want to bring Yev around for a play date sometime?”   
  
He stopped his forkful of food midway to his mouth and looked at her with an eyebrow raised. Was this bitch serious?   
  
“No. Do I look like I do fucking play dates? This aint no Mommy and Me thing going on here with you and me, Little Red.”   
  
She just laughed at him and stood up. He thought for a second that she might actually be leaving him alone in peace, but of course she wasn’t. She grabbed his now empty plate and began walking to the kitchen again.   
  
“You want me to do your dishes or maybe I could…”   
  
Right, he had enough. He had been rude and abrasive and there was no way in hell that she was actually enjoying this attempted ‘bonding’ session, nor did she want to clean up his fucking dirty ass house. She had to have an ulterior motive. Nobody did anything for anyone around here without wanting something. And Mickey had nothing to give anybody.  
  
“Seriously? What the fuck are you doing here Debbie?”   
  
Nobody came over and did this kind of shit, especially not for the Milkovich’s. He heard her slam the plate down in the sink, he stood up and crossed his arms undisturbed by her anger, because, seriously? In this house, throwing a plate around wasn’t even considered a tantrum.   
  
“I’m trying to thank you, you asshole. I just… What you did for Ian, I just wanted you to know we really appreciate it. I felt so bad about what happened with you two, and I tried back then to try and be nice to you after the break up, and I just thought that maybe if I just tried a little harder that… I just wish I could’ve helped you Mickey. You pretend like you’re a jerk, but you’ve always been so good to him, and you didn’t…”  
  
He cut her off before she could continue, he didn’t need to be reminded of all the shit he had done for Ian, it was just a reminder that it wasn’t good enough, that he wasn’t good enough.  
  
“Please Debs, just stop. Ok. It was a onetime thing, I won’t be helping again if he gets all fucked up.”   
  
She just shook her head at him, red hair flying around her, reminding him of Ian’s hair. She looked up at him with sad puppy eyes, just like Ian’s. His heart hurt at the sight. Fuck this whole situation in the ass right now.   
  
“Yeah you would, if Ian needed you again… you would.”   
  
Unfortunately, she was right. If it came down to it and Ian needed Mickey again it wouldn’t take much to get him to help him. He hated that, hated that he still cared so much for Ian when Ian clearly didn’t care about him. He looked at Debbie again, her face full of pity. She knew it too, knew that he would do anything for Ian, knew that Ian had just thrown him away. He hated being pitied and for some reason the fact that it was pity from a Gallagher was making him even more angry.  
  
“I… Jesus. Look, we’re done, him and me, over, done. You don’t need to feel fucking sorry for me Debbie. I’m not some broken little bitch crying into my fucking pillow at night because he fucking dumped me. I get it, I get why he did it. And that’s ok with me, so just fucking stop.”   
  
Debbie stormed past him into the living room, picking her baby up and packing up the few toys she had brought with her. It looked like she was finally fucking leaving. Good! Before she made her way to the front door she walked right up to Mickey, staring him in the eye. The chick had balls, getting all up in his face with a look of pure determination and anger.   
  
“Fine. But I’m not done with you Milkovich. You can be done with him if you want to, fine. But you will see me, I will bring you food, our babies will play together and we will be friends. You can’t just sit in here day after day being a grumpy hermit. There are some pureed vegetables in a container in the refrigerator for Yev, I’ll be back tomorrow. Oh, and you’re fucking welcome asshole”   
  
And with that she slammed the door shut leaving a dumbstruck, and somewhat impressed, Milkovich with his mouth hung open gaping at the door like a fucking goldfish.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
“Ohhh… There’s a job working security at a club that’s just opened up on the edges of the southside. Oh my god, it’s a gay club too! You’d be sooo good at that, work out all your aggression in a legal way, maybe find a nice guy… and you’d get money for it! Win, win I say… There’s also a couple of people looking for general labourers. You can work that right? Carting bricks around a construction site and stuff, you’d get super buff doing that. Bet the boys will all swoon over your muscles”   
  
They were sitting around the Milkovich kitchen table, Debbie had brought her laptop around and was helping Mickey look for work. She had already done up a resume for him, it was pretty short considering he really hadn’t had many legal jobs.   
  
Debbie had been coming around two sometimes three times a week for the last few months. At first Mickey would ignore her as she potted around the house cleaning it up, rambling on about random shit that he just zoned out on, cleaning his house, cooking him food and even doing his fucking laundry. Eventually he actually started listening to some of the shit she said, even replying at times. He wouldn’t admit it but he actually had begun to enjoy her company, maybe even liked her a little. Yevgeny also adored Franny, showing her his toys and talking to her in his baby gibberish, it was kind of adorable, he wouldn’t ever admit to that either.   
  
Debbie turned the laptop around so that Mickey could look at the job descriptions; she was beaming up at him with her goofy smile. She had been on a mission for the last few weeks to get him a legitimate job. He had to hand it to her, these jobs looked good, and the money was decent. He sighed and pushed the laptop back towards her.  
  
“No-one round here is gonna fucking give me a job. They’ll be too scared I’ll steal from ‘em, kill someone on their property or I just won’t do any of the work coz I’m lazy as fuck. And they would be right on all three points. I aint this kind of person Debs. I’m a Milkovich, drug deals, guns or a thug for hire, S’ all I’m good for kid”   
  
Debbie folded her arms, clearly frustrated with him. She looked around at the kids playing and smiled. She then turned back around to Mickey and lent back on her chair, looking pleased with herself.   
  
“Do you love your kid?” She asked him, Mickey scrunched his face up at the stupid question.  
  
“The fuck kind of question is that?”  
  
“Just answer the question Mickey”   
  
He looked over to where Yev was playing with his little stuffed Monkey. If you had asked him that question when Yev was first born, he probably wouldn’t have hesitated and told you he couldn’t give two fucks about him. But now, he did, he really did. It took him months to finally be able to look at Yev and see past the day that Yevgeny was conceived, move past the fact that he was a product of Terry’s attempt at corrective rape. Months of trying to hold the squirming baby in his arms and learn to breathe past the initial feeling of sickness and the wash of memories that touching Yev somehow brought on. Now he sees an innocent kid, who’s happy and for some reason the Kid loves Mickey no matter what. He gurgles louder, smiles big and bright whenever Mickey even just looks at him. Mickey can’t help the smile that forms on his face just from looking at his son right now. He swallows the emotional lump in his throat before he turns back to Debbie and answers her.  
  
“Yeah I do. Course I do”   
  
She smiles back at him, knowingly. Cheeky little devil that she is. He still doesn’t get what him loving Yev has to do with him getting a job though.  
  
“You want him to have a good life? You wanna be round to watch him grow up?”   
  
He doesn’t even have to think about it before answering. He wants Yev to have the world. He wants to be the father that he never had, the father that his son deserves.  
  
“Yeah”  
  
“Well if you do any of that stupid shit you just said, you’ll end up in Jail or dead. You won’t get to be around to see him grow up; you won’t be around to provide for him either. You need a proper job Mickey, Yevgeny needs clothes and food, money for school and toys. If you have the right motivation to get up and go to work every day, to do what you have to do to keep that job, you’ll do it. I’ve seen how you are when you really care about someone, you do what’s necessary to keep them happy and healthy. You’ll find a job and work hard at it, you’ll do it for Yevgeny, I know you will.”   
  
He knows she’s referring to what he would’ve done, what he did do for Ian. Neither of them mentions that though. He just nods at her and then glares at the smug expression on her face. She looks like she just won a round on fucking jeopardy.  
  
“Should I call em up about those jobs or do I just rock up with that resume thingy you did for me?”   
  
She throws him one of those famous Gallagher megawatt smiles and begins rambling on again, clearly pleased that she’s finally found him a few jobs he’s willing to apply for, especially after he turned down all the rest of her ideas, like being a fucking Janitor at the school. Like fuck he was gonna pick up after any snotty nosed little fuckers.  
  
“I can apply online and send your resume to them if you like. Just, if they call you, you gotta be nice on the phone Mickey. No more answering with ‘What!’. You need to say something like “hello, this is Mickey Milkovich speaking’ when you answer”   
  
He just rolled his eyes at her. She just looked at him, hands on her hips, staring at him expectantly. He sighed and nodded at her and she instantly smiled at him, happy that yet again the bitch was making Mickey do things properly, respectably. God, these Gallagher’s!  
  
She began typing away at the computer whilst Mickey grabbed another beer from the fridge and a bottle of pop for Debbie, because he was a polite mother fucker now, apparently. She kept glancing up at him every now and then, chewing at her lip. He knew that look, it meant she wanted to say something and she was nervous about it. He just continued to drink his beer, ignoring her looks until she finally caved and talked.  
  
“Hey Mickey… You know how I’ve been pretty chill when we hang out and I don’t really bother you with stuff”   
  
He huffed out a laugh, dribbling beer down his chin; he wiped it off and laughed at her again.   
  
“I fucking beg to differ, you’re annoying as shit. I don’t even invite you over, you just walk in uninvited and then you don’t leave until you want to no matter how many times I tell you to fuck off”   
  
she smiled at him with a knowing smile, she was used to the way he talked and she knew the way he was, knew that he actually liked her coming over.  
  
”Whatever, you love it when I come over. But, seriously, I need to talk to you about something and I really don’t want you getting mad at me about it. OK?... Ian’s…”   
  
NO… no, no, no. Fuck No. They never talk about Ian. Not once, they didn’t even have a talk about not talking about Ian. Somehow Debbie had just known not to talk about him, and he appreciated the fuck out of that fact. Why the hell was she ruining this, they had a good thing going on here!  
  
“Nope. I don’t want to hear it Debs.”  
  
She closed the lap top and looked at him, big eyes pleading at him to just hear her out.  
  
“Just listen to me!! He just wants to explain himself. He wants to apologise and I think…”   
  
He got up and walked into the living room and picked Yev up tickling him, he didn’t want to hear this, he didn’t want to look at her right now, she had this way of getting him to do whatever she wanted, just like Ian used to, he couldn’t cave on this. Yev giggled away and the feeling of him in Mickey’s arms soothed him. He took a deep breath and without facing Debbie he tried to calmly get his point across.  
  
“He got nothing to explain or apologise over. Jesus, I aint like you Gallagher’s, I don’t need to hear about his feelings and emotions and blah fucking blah. We’re done, I’m good, he’s good… Yay, we’re all fucking chipper. Just tell him, its fine and not to worry about it, coz I’m fucking not worrying about it over here.”   
  
Debbie walked over to him, arms on her hips again. She wasn’t going to drop this easily.  
  
“You’re so full of shit. You’re a sad sack over here! You don’t leave the house, you mope around all the time. When was the last time you had sex? I bet it was with Ian?”   
  
To be honest, he couldn’t actually remember the last person he had sex with. He knew it wasn’t Ian though. After the breakup he spent most of his time getting completely wasted at bars and would wake up in his bed completely blank to what had happened the night before. Most morning’s he woke up with black eyes he didn’t remember getting and occasionally he would wake up with the knowing feeling of the slight pain in his ass telling him that he had been fucked the night before.  
  
“Actually, it wasn’t… why the fuck am I even talking to you about this shit. Jesus Christ!! Look, you want to be my friend, fucking fine, as my friend I want you to do one thing for me, keep your brother away from me. I don’t want to hear about him. See him or speak to him. We fucking clear?”   
  
He was yelling at her and Yev had become upset by his tone of voice and was now crying. Debs looked at him and something in his face must have made her decide that she wasn’t going to win this battle. Mickey began rocking Yev in his arms, talking to him gently until he calmed down. He placed him back in the playpen with Franny and turned back to glare at Debs once he was certain that Yev was fine.   
  
“Whatever” She sighed and crossed her arms, clearly defeated and non to happy about it  
  
“Right, now can we get back to finding me a job?”   
  
They made their way back to the kitchen table, Debs starting the laptop up again, refusing to even acknowledge Mickey sitting beside her. Mickey sat there in silence, his thoughts occupied by what Ian wanted to say. As much as he protested that he didn’t want to hear it, he was still curious. For over a year and a half now, he wanted to talk to Ian about the break up, he had so many questions. The main one was, why? He just wanted to know what he did wrong or what he didn’t do. He ran his hands over his face and sighed loudly and tried to put his mind back to job hunting.   
  
  
  


 

* * *

 

 

  
  
  
“How're the new jobs going?”   
  
It was lunch time on Sunday, Yev was with Svetlana and Mickey had just woken up to the smell of bacon and pancakes cooking. He slept in as much as he could on Sundays; his new job working security at the club had him getting home between 3 and 4 in the morning. He only worked there on Friday, Saturday and Sunday nights. He’d also managed to get a second job working construction three days a week. He worked Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday there so he managed to not overlap with the club, but going from doing runs and other illegal shit whenever he felt like it, to working hard nearly every day was a fucking big change and he was struggling to get used to it. He was tired all the time and his body fucking ached 24/7. But thank god for Debs, since he started working she had made a point to come around every Sunday around noon waking him up with a full breakfast.  
  
“Fucking exhausting! Food smells fucking awesome, how’s thing’s with you?” He sat down at the table as Debs dished the food out for him.  
  
“Yeah… trying to get my school stuff sorted out. They have a few options for teen parents, I like the idea of doing it online from home so then I don’t have to put Franny in day-care. I’ll have a few tutoring type of classes once a week to help me with anything I’m really struggling with. Not really doing much apart from all the mum stuff, and annoying you of course”  
  
She smiled at him as she began tidying up the kitchen. He continued to eat enjoying the comfortable silence that he could have with Debbie now. It was a weird friendship, it still confused him some days that he was actually friends with Debbie, especially because of the family she came from. It was nice though, to have someone to hang out with, they didn’t have much in common besides the fact that they had kids and dysfunctional families. Somehow this friendship worked though. She reminded him of a mix between his own sister and of Ian. It worked, he liked it.   
  
"Any hotties at either job that you got your eye on?" She battered her eye lashes and rested her head in her hands, Mickey just scowled at her because... Fuck no, he doesn't do this shit.  
  
"Not doing this girly gossip bullshit with you Debbie, I might like dick but I aint a fucken girl" he growled out between mouthfuls of delicious food. This girl can cook!  
  
“Fine, you're so boring. I should head home anyways. But I… ummm… this is for you” She awkwardly handed him an envelope. He just looked at it, turning it around trying to figure out what it could be without actually opening it up. He looked up at her and saw the anxiety on her face. She quickly began trying to explain to him what was going on.  
  
“I promised I wouldn’t make you see him, hear him or talk about him. I never said I wouldn’t give you something from him. It’s up to you if you read it, I hope you do because I think it’ll be good for for you. You deserve some answers, you deserve it to help you move on if for nothing else but that. Please don’t be too mad at me. I’m gonna leave now ok. I’ll see you tomorrow”   
  
Once she finished her speech she quickly made her way to the front door leaving before Mickey could react. Which was probably a good thing because he was kind of stunned at the moment but if she stayed any longer he probably would’ve got pretty fucking angry at her for giving him this.   
  
He just sat there staring at the envelope, quietly freaking out debating whether or not to throw it in the bin, burn it, rip it up into a million pieces or to read it. He doesn’t really know how long he sat there before he actually made the decision to pull out the letter that Ian had written. His hands were shaking, he placed the letter down and took a moment to settle his nerves before he picked it up and began reading it.


	3. The Letter and The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how i feel about this chapter.... sigh...
> 
> Let me know what you think?

  
_Mick,_  
  
 _I really wanted to do this in person but Debs said you didn’t want to speak to me. I tried to just march over to your house but she kicked me really fucking hard in the shins and made me promise on Franny’s life that I would leave you alone. Girl’s got the biggest kicked puppy expression I have ever seen and I couldn’t bear to make her sad so… I wrote you instead. It’s probably for the best anyway, because at least I can take my time and try and get this out right._  
  
 _I’ve started this letter a million times and thrown it out just as many because I just feel like whatever I write won’t make sense or get what I really want to say to you out properly and a huge part of me doubts that you will actually even read it anyway, maybe this whole thing is fucking pointless, but whatever, I’m going to try anyway. So here goes..._  
  
 _I just want you to know that I’m sorry. Like, **really** , really fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt you, I hope you know that. _  
_I don’t regret breaking up with you though, but I do regret the way I went about it, I needed to be on my own and be responsible for myself, find myself and I needed to breathe, just for a moment, take my time to figure my shit out. I hope you get that._  
  
 _My head was so fucking foggy from the meds the day that I ended things with you, I honestly don’t really remember what I said, but I know that I was an asshole. I hate myself for hurting you and I hate myself for not really remembering it, I wish I did so maybe I could hate myself even more because that's what i deserve.  
_  
 _I just know that I can remember the way you looked at me, because I’ve **seen** that face before, I saw it in the mirror after you told me I was just a warm mouth to you. I’m not trying to turn this around and lay blame on you for anything; I just want you to know that I can relate to what you were feeling that day, that I know that look and I get what it feels like to be crushed by someone you love. The look on your face from that day haunts my dreams almost every night, because I never thought I would be on the other end of that expression, especially not with you. I always thought it would be me wanting you forever and you never really wanting me, but you did in the end, didn’t you? _  
  
_We have been through sooo much together, some of the worst moments of my life happened with you, but also the fucking best moments were with you too, I remember the good ones the most and I hope you do to. _  
  
_I need for you to know that us ending had **nothing** to do with you, I know you well enough to know that you’d be blaming yourself right now, you’re a fucking idiot sometimes, you know that? Because you can’t see just how fucking amazing you are. It pisses me off how much you hate yourself, how you think you have no worth. You’re smart, funny, and a bit of a badass. But I also saw a side of you that I knew was there but I  never really expected you to show, you’re caring, passionate, and loyal to a fault._  
 _  
Fuck Mickey,the guy you became, I don’t want you to let him go just because I fucked up. I broke up with you because I didn’t know who I was anymore, I couldn’t understand how you could want to be with me when I wasn’t the same person you cared for in the first place. I had my life all mapped out from such a young fucking age, West Point, Army… I wanted to be someone Mick, and all of that shattered and I had no idea what the fuck I was doing with myself. I went from being the middle child that everyone over looked to being constantly scrutinised by everyone, every move I made, every move I didn’t make was under a microscope and I was fucking suffocating. _  
  
_My whole world was changing and… I hate that this is going to probably come out the wrong way, that you might not understand but… you changed too and I couldn’t cope. You became this totally different person and it was just one change too much. I wanted some sort of normalcy, I had none. And the way you looked at me like I was about to shatter if you touched me the wrong way, you were walking on egg shells around me and I fucking hated it!! How could you be happy with someone you couldn’t be yourself around anymore? Too scared to call me names like you used to, too scared to push me around when I was being a bitch… I scared Mickey Milkovich? God, That wasn’t right!!_  
  
 _After everything I just said, I know this is going to seem contradictory but I want you to know that the guy that took care of me when I was fucked out on too much coke and pills, the guy that lived in my house as my boyfriend, the guy that came out for me, the guy that stood up for me, looked after me when I couldn’t get out of bed, the guy that wasn’t afraid to show me affection, tell me he cared… That guy was **amazing** and he was all of my wet dreams rolled into one because **he** was my Southside, thug boyfriend that gave me everything and it was so much more than I had ever hoped for, I never thought I’d see that side of you Mick, and I just wish that the stupid bipolar bullshit never happened and that my life hadn’t been flipped the fuck upside down because if it hadn’t, I would’ve stayed, I would never have let you leave. _  
  
_But it happened, I was a mess and I couldn’t drag you into this, I wasn’t worthy of you and I couldn’t explain it to you, to anyone. I just needed to figure my shit out and I just kept fucking with you and your emotions. The things I did to you Mickey, fuck, it keeps me up at night. The shit I put you through? What kind of an asshole does that, why did you let me do all of that? I fucking cheated on you, a lot. I did a fucking porno for fucksake, I stole your fucking baby!! I took you for granted; I almost got you killed by your own father because I was a needy selfish asshole and needed you to come out and be gay in the open. How could you still look at me after all of that and choose to be with me, how could you even **look** at me? _  
  
_God. I could keep writing this forever and it still wouldn’t be enough to explain my fucked up brain. I just want you to know that I'm sorry and that I did this for you, and for me, we couldn’t keep going with how fucked up I was, it wasn’t because you weren’t good enough, or because I stopped caring. I just needed to take a step back and figure some things out, and you didn’t need to be dealing with my shit. I couldn’t do that to you, not anymore. I needed to find the **new** Ian Gallagher, figure out who I’m gonna be in this world. I couldn’t do that with you because you’re in love with the **old** me, I can’t ever be him again, no matter how much I wish I could._  
  
 _I hope you can forgive me at some point, or at least hate me a little less than you do. Maybe you get some answers or something from this letter, I dunno. I just felt you needed to hear this. I’m sorry, I really can’t say that enough._  
  
 _I almost forgot, sorry about my meds crapping out on me and me turning into a complete nut job and you having to sort my ass out again, I’m not your responsibility anymore and I know that day was super fucked up and hard for you. Next time I lose the fucking plot, I’ll try harder to remember that you’re not mine anymore._  
  
 _Sorry x_  
  
_Ian_  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
What the fuck was that?   
  
Mickey was so confused, he didn’t know how this letter made him feel. He was sad, angry, and frustrated. He had a _heap_ more fucking questions that’s for sure, he felt like he had even more than he had originally. But did he really want to talk to Ian about them? Fuck no.   
  
The letter made no sense to him at all. Did Ian break up with him because he thought that’s what Mickey wanted? He said he needed time to sort himself out, needed to do it on his own, if that was the truth then why did he have a new boyfriend now? The letter seemed like such bullshit to him. Did Ian just lie through the whole thing?   
  
The only thing he knew for certain was that Ian never said he loved him in the letter or any other time for that matter, and he never said he wanted him back either. He wasn’t good with this shit and he had no idea what the fuck all of this meant or what he was supposed to do now.   
  
So he tucked the letter away in his bottom drawer. He sent a text to his boss at the club, claiming his was sick and couldn’t work that night, grabbed his jacket and headed to the Alibi to get completely black out drunk so he could stop thinking and stop feeling.  
  
Fuck Ian Gallagher and his bullshit letter, asshole.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
“Lemme ask you dis K?… you’re with this guy, and he wants you to be all soft and nice and fucking romancey right, but you’re like scared of feelings and shit, but then you finally decide, fuck it, and you do what he wants, be all fuckin' peaches and fuckin' cream for the ginger giant and then he don’t wan' it. The fucks with that? Then he says 'oh, but that nice guys great, glad you’re the nice guy now', the fucks he want man?”   
  
Mickey had been at the Alibi for a few hours and had managed to consume a fair decent amount of alcohol and was now well on the way to his goal of being completely inebriated. He had decided that Tommy was his best friend and confidant for the night and had been droning on and on about Ian for the last half an hour, considering Tommy was just as drunk, he didn’t seem to mind, or understand to be honest.   
  
“I have absolutely no idea what the hell you’re saying man.. but yeah, fuck him!”   
  
Tommy raised his glass at Mickey and Mickey threw his arm around Tommy, staggering a little as he nodded his head in agreement, raising his glass to meet Tommy’s and sloshing the amber liquid in the glass. Kev just looked on in amusement, shaking his head at Mickey’s clear intoxication, after this beer he was _definitely_ cutting the man off.  
  
“That’s right, should’ve just fucked him instead of being his bitch, shoulda kept him as my bitch, kept him in line. Dick up the ass and then tally ho good sir, now fuck the fuck off! He let me go coz he needed to find hisself.I fucking found that mother fucker, I fucking found him grindin’ down on old man sacks. Gotta find hisself, what’s he think this is some fuckin game man? Hide and go seek? Prick”   
  
“Yeah, prick..” Tommy agreed.  
  
Mickey spun around and pushed Tommy up against the bar and began jabbing his finger into his chest. He was squinting at the older man, face flushed from alcohol and now rage. Kev kept his eye on Mickey as he poured Kermit another beer, waiting for Mickey to start throwing punches, or throw up, which ever came first.  
  
“Hey, you can’t call him a prick, I can… he’s my prick. Oh actually… I think he has a boyfriend? Imma’ go fuck his pretty face up with my… whoops…”   
  
Mickey’s ranting was getting a little heated and he lost his balance, misjudged how close the bar was and found himself falling face first onto the bar with a loud thud and then sliding down on to the floor. Kev shook his head, threw the dishcloth he was about to use to wipe the bar down in the sink and made his way around to pick Mickey up off the floor.  
  
“Alright Mickey, we gotta get you home man. Jesus, you got a brother out of jail I can call to pick your ass up?”   
  
Mickey hiccuped loudly as Kev pulled him up, he stumbled and Kev kept a grip on his arm as he sat him down in the corner booth, no way was he stable enough to get back on the bar stool or stay upright on his feet. Mickey closed his eyes, the room was spinning. He took a deep breathe before he replied to Kevin.   
  
“Nope all incarss.. Incarsser.. all locked up Kev ol’ buddy. Do you know what it means when a dude you’re seeing says he needs to be alone to sort his, his shit out, but then he moves straight the fuck on to some, some other prick? It means I meant nothin,’ right Kev? That’s… That’s what it means”   
  
Kev just shook his head at Mickey's drunken ramblings and went back to the bar and brought a bottle of water over to Mickey, Mickey opened one eye, looked at the water and just scoffed at it.   
  
“S’not Beer man! Gimme another beer Kev”  
  
Kev shook his head, he hadn't seen Mickey in this state for awhile now, Mickey was usually pretty good at holding his alcohol but at the beginning of the break up with Ian, Mickey had been like this for a long time, but he had been doing really good over the last few months. He was wondering to himself what had happened to set him off again, but he was too scared to ask, and Mickey was to intoxicated to give a straight answer anyways.    
  
“You got any friends Mickey? I can’t call Svet to come get your drunk ass, she’s watching the kids tonight, Vee’s out with her mum. You gotta have someone man?”  
  
Mickey scratched his head, pulling at the greasy dark strands and then began to chuckle, Kev just stood by waiting for Mickey to answer. Finally he spoke up, slurred speech and an amused expression on his face.  
  
“I got me a Gallagher, not the one that used to put it in my ass, the other one, the Debster, the Debsmiester.. The DEBBINATOOOORRR”   
  
Kev laughed out loud at Mickey’s nicknames for Debbie as he grabbed his phone scrolling until he found the Gallagher’s number.   
  
“Ok, I’ll call Debbie then”   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
It was about half an hour after the call that Debbie came through the doors, Fiona walking behind her. They looked over at Kev and he motioned with a nod of his head to the corner booth were Mickey was slumped over the table, passed out. Fiona gave Debbie a look that Debbie knew meant ‘you owe me BIG for this’ and the two girls made their way over to the booth. Debbie trying to wake him up as both girls began pulling him up to his feet. Mickey was so out of it that he couldn’t walk and had his full weight being carried by the girls; Fiona huffed out and began scolding him.   
  
“Jesus Christ Mickey, you could at least help us out here, you’re like dragging a tonne of fucking bricks around and you smell like a fucking distillery! How much have you drunk tonight?”   
  
Mickey finally looked up at her and squinted, he them turned his attention to Debbie. He lent into her and tried to whisper (completely unsuccessfully) to her.  
  
“Psstttt… Debbbeeeee, why’s the one that don’t like me here?”   
  
Debbie looked at him in confusion, then at Fiona as the three of them began slowly making their way out of the bar.  
  
“You mean Fi?” She asked  
  
“Yeah, why’s she touchin’ me and talkin’ to me?”   
  
Fi huffed out a laugh causing Mickey to turn his attention towards her, glaring at her with his drunken eyes. She sighed and as they reached the car she began fumbling for the keys in her coat whist she tried to help Debbie keep the drunken Milkovich upright.   
  
“I’m helping you to the car coz Debs can’t carry you by herself and, for the record, I don’t fucking hate you Mickey”   
  
Mickey just grunted in response as he began sliding down the car, before he hit the ground Debbie and Fiona both grabbed him tighter under his arms and pulled him back up, Fiona had the backdoor open and both girls managed to get him in there without dropping him.   
  
“Debbbbb potato, your brothers a dick, you know that?”  
  
“Which one?” She mumbled to him in jest as she tried to put the seat belt on him, he was being uncooperative, slapping her hands away and trying to do it himself but he was too drunk to actually put it on properly. Mickey laughed at her response  
  
“Ha.. you’re a funny one Doobee, the ginger one… The hot one. The one with the really nice d…”   
  
Fiona was in the driver’s seat and had caught the last of the conversation; she pinched the bridge of her nose and winced before yelling out at her sister before Mickey could finish his sentence.   
  
“Oh Jesus, please make him stop!! Why the fuck did I agree to help you Debs?”   
  
Debs strapped herself into the front seat as Fiona began driving.  
  
“Coz its Mickey and he’s my best friend _and_ we owe him.”   
  
Mickey wasn’t paying the two girls any attention and was mumbling about in the backseat, but they both could hear him.  
  
“I love him you know. Told him that and he broke up with me. Never good enough, he’s too good for me. Ha, even when his heads all fucked up, he’s still too good for me”  
  
Fiona looked at Mickey in the rear-view mirror taking in the sadness that was all over his face. Mickey lent his head against the window and continued to mumble to himself about Ian, drawing a love heart in the window condensation. Fiona directed her attention to Debs with a shocked look on her face, her sister just shrugged at her, clearly she wasn't as affected by his demeanour because she was used to it.   
  
Fiona knew that Mickey had been pretty heartbroken about Ian, but this was the first time seeing it for herself. Kev and Vee had told her about his drunken outbursts at the Alibi when Ian had first broken up with Mickey. Svetlana had also told her that her husband was being a little bitch about his broken heart, but seeing just how hurt he was with her own eyes, was painful and she felt guilty for not trying to reach out to him to try and help.   
  
“What the fuck did Ian do now?” She asked her sister, there had to be a reason for him to be like this now. Debs had said to her that Mickey had been doing good lately. She just knew that Ian had to be involved in this.  
  
“He wrote him a letter, I should’ve proof read it before giving it to him I think. Whatever was in there, I don’t think Mickey took it too well”   
  
Mickey piped up at Debbie’s answer loudly, causing both of the Gallagher girls to jump in their seats.   
  
“Hey, I took it well, I always take it good. Never ever had a complaint. Your brother fuckin’ never complained about my dick taking skills…”   
  
Debbie laughed, but Fiona was completely disgusted at the thought of Mickey and her brother having sex, she yelled out to him in the back.   
  
“Oh Jesus, pass the fuck out already!!”   
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
Mickey woke up with a killer head ache, a mouth that tasted like beer, whiskey and cigarettes and his Ex-wife staring at him from the door way, Yev in her arms and her looking as menacing as always.  
  
“The fuck you doing here?” He croaked out, he leant over to the night stand finding a glass half full of water, two Tylenol and a note from who he assumed to be Debs saying, 'You owe me buttwipe'.   
  
Jesus what the hell did he do yesterday?   
  
He remembers getting pretty drunk at the Alibi, with… Tommy? Bits and pieces of the night began popping up in his memory, Debbie and fucking Fiona picking him up and taking him home, drunkenly complaining to half of the Alibi about Ian… Ian… The letter. _That’s_ why he got wasted, to forget about that stupid letter.   
  
He groaned out loud and looked back up at Svetlana.  
  
“I Bring Yevgeny to stupid papa, Kev tell me you drunk like fish at bar. I also come make sure you not dead”  
  
Mickey rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms and then looks back at her. Yev squirms in her arms and leans towards Mickey. He grabs his son and blows a raspberry on his belly and instantly regrets it when Yev squeals loudly, causing his head to explode in pain. Fuck, being hungover and looking after his kid today is gonna be a nightmare. Fuck, then he has to work at the club afterwards, fuck his fucking life!  
  
“Wish I fuckin’ was dead”   
  
He slumped back down on his bed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. He let Yev crawl next to him on the bed. Svetlana plops herself down on the bed next to him and glares at him.  
  
“Kev say you cry like baby about Orange boy again. Been too long to still hold flash for ex boyfriend. Grow some balls and get over it”   
  
He sighs loudly and looks down at Yev. He’s embarrassed that he carried on like some love sick teenager and made a dick of himself last night and he can’t bare to look at her right now.   
  
"It’s carry a torch” He says, not answering her, as he glances at her and watches her expression change to confusion and annoyance, she crosses her arms and huffs out.  
  
“What you mean?”  
  
“It’s carry a torch, not hold a flash.”   
  
Svetlana just furrows her brows and then quickly hops of the bed and storms off muttering away in Russian as she makes her way out of the room and then slams the front door loudly making the house shake and his head throb again.  
  
He can't help but be a little amused at the fact that she still gets so annoyed at him when he corrects her. He plays with Yev on the bed for a little bit, waiting for his thumping headache to dull down, the Tylenol starting to work it's magic makes him finally get up. He's only just put cartoons on for Yev and is waiting for the coffee to finish so he can attempt to drink his first cup, when he looks up to see Debbie gingerly walking into the kitchen.  
  
She smiles at him shyly and sits down at the table.  
  
“Would you like me to make you something for breakfast?” She asks him.  
  
His stomach immediately protests at the word 'breakfast', the thought of food is not going down well with him right now, he must really be hungover! He walks over to the table with the coffee pot, groans and places his throbbing head on the table and mumbles a response back to the redheaded girl sitting next to him  
  
“Food is the Devil; I’ll stick with coffee for now. I’ll try and get some toast down later.”  
  
Debbie get's up and grabs the mugs, Mickey forgot, as he still sits face down on the table trying to settle his stomach, she pours herself a cup and Mickey one too. They sit in silence for awhile. The only noise is muffled coming from the TV in the other room and the occasional gurgle from either Franny or Yev. He looks over towards Debbie at the noise of her shifting in her chair. She looks apprehensive and he’s confused for a moment. He’s the one that should be ashamed of himself in front of her, if he remembers correctly, she’s the one who took care of his drunk ass last night.  
  
“Wasn’t sure if I’d be welcome back here” She mumbles out as she diverts her eyes towards the lounge room, a slight blush covers her cheeks as she speaks nervously.  
  
“You weren’t welcome in the first place little Red”  
  
He smiles at her, with what he hopes is a reassuring smile, when she looks at him and she huffs out a small laugh and rolls her eyes, he knows it worked. She sits for a moment longer playing with the coffee mug in front of her.   
  
“I thought the letter would help” She eventually says, It comes out just a fraction louder than a whisper, but the mere mention of the letter has Mickey sitting up straight in his chair and a grim expression on his face.   
  
“Yeah well, I thought drinking the Alibi dry would help, clearly we’re both wrong”   
  
He needs to do something to divert the attention from him he refills up his cup and Debbie’s with the rest of the coffee from the pot then lights a cigarette and stares blankly towards the living room. He hopes she’ll drop the subject, but he knows she won’t. She’s a Gallagher after all.   
  
“I hoped it would give you answers, closure… or something”   
  
He stares at the black liquid in his cup, he furrows his brow and releases a shaky breath.   
  
“Just confused the fuck out of me more, I have no idea what the fuck he was trying to say”  
  
Debbie gingerly brings her hand over to his and squeezes it quickly before placing her hands back on her mug, knowing that he isn't good with affection or attempts at comfort.  
  
“Maybe if I read it, I could like, translate it or something?”  
  
Mickey looks it her incredulously and shakes his head. He can't help the angry tone that comes out when he speaks to her next.   
  
“He didn’t write it in fucking hieroglyphics Debs, it don’t need translating. Fuck, I just want to forget and start moving on”   
  
She nods her head at him and takes another sip of her coffee, but of course she has more to talk about.   
  
“Ok, Ummm… Just wanted to let you know that when I got the call from Kev to come pick you up, we… we’d just finished family dinner night… so…Ian was there and kind of heard what was going on”   
  
Mickey wants to slam his head repeatedly on the table in front of him. Of course Ian was there, he probably knows all about how much of a pussy Mickey was last night. Just Mickey’s luck   
  
“Great. How much does he know?”  
  
“Kev doesn’t have my number so he called Fi, told her you were drunk off your ass at the bar and that you asked for me to come get you, she relayed that exact message to me at the dinner table. That’s all he knew. Kev probably said other stuff to her, but she kept it to herself.”   
  
He feels a little relieved at that, it sure as hell could’ve been a lot worse knowing Kev. Kev has the tendency to run his mouth off, thank god Fiona actually was a decent human being and kept her trap shut about it and didn’t blab to Ian. Hopefully she keeps it that way.   
  
“S’not so bad I guess then.”   
  
He takes a sip and looks at Debs but she’s chewing at her bottom lip nervously, obviously something else happened. He sighs and gestures with his hands for her to continue. She does.  
  
“But when we got back home, after getting your wasted ass to bed, he started asking questions. Like, ‘Were you ok’,’ why did Kev call me’,’ what happened’…”   
  
“What did you tell him”   
  
She smiles brightly at him, straightens her back up in the chair, she begins speaking again looking proudly at Mickey as if she’s done him a favour.  
  
“I said you were drunk because boys are dicks, said that Kev called me because you asked him too because I’m your best friend and I told him the rest is none of his god damn business. Then Fi told him he needs to leave you the hell alone from now on.”   
  
He’s grateful and surprised that _both_ of the Gallagher girls stuck up for him, but he’s also embarrassed by it.  
  
“Shit, I sound like such a loser. Drinking because a boy broke my heart, my best friend is a 12 year old girl, _and_ the sister of the boy who broke my heart, just to make me even more pathetic. Oh, **and** I need two girls to stick up for me.”   
  
She shakes her head furiously, face now bright red, and then she slams her closed fist down on the table making her coffee slosh around in her cup. Mickey’s so shocked at the outburst from her the he rears back from the table.   
  
“I’m not fucking 12 Mickey!!… Seriously, is it so bad to have me as a fucking friend? Why is everybody so quick to cast me aside, or be ashamed of me?”   
  
He knows that she’s always been a little bit of a loner, remembers her complaining about all the bitches at school and the bullying back when he and Ian were together. The thing is, she _is_ a good friend, and she doesn’t deserve to be treated so poorly by unappreciative assholes like himself. So he breathes in and prepares to do something he rarely ever does. Be nice. He gets up from his chair and places a hand on her shoulder, closest thing to a sign of affection that he can bring himself to initiate.  
  
“Shit. No Debs. You’re actually pretty fucking awesome, I’m lucky you put up with me. I’m just being a depressive asshole, you should know how I am by now, you’re my best friend after all.”   
  
She looks up at him with a watery smile and the sight of it makes him smile back. Who would’ve thought Mickey Milkovich the southside thug would be best friends with Debbie Gallagher? The emotions in the room is choking him, he’s done his duty of playing nice and all that bullshit, he needs to save face a little now so that nobody thinks he’s turned into a complete pussy. He clears his throat and starts walking out of the room to the bathroom.   
  
“Gonna take a shower, make me some pancakes bitch!” He smiles brightly to himself when he hears Debbie sigh and chuckle to herself as he closes the bathroom door.


	4. Gallagher's - Here, There, Every-Fucking-Where!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys. thanks for all the continued love and support!
> 
> Hope you're still into this, let me know if you're not. There seems to be a lot less people reading, commenting and also writing in this fandom. Makes me sad :(
> 
> So thanks to all of you that are sticking with the Fandom and me xo

It’s Friday night at the club, now that they’ve been open for a few months they’ve started to get quite a name for themselves and it’s packed to full capacity tonight. Mickey’s on inside duties and his security uniform is clingy to his body from the heat, he can feel the sweat dripping down his neck and dampening his collar and he just wants the night to be over so he can go home and shower. He checks the time on his phone, he still has three hours left of his shift.  
  
“Yo Mickey Blue Eyes!”   
  
He looks up from his phone at the sound of the security shift supervisor Derek's voice. He locks eyes with him as he walks towards Mickey, his trademark smile plastered across his face. He’s a head taller than Mickey with light blue eyes and dark hair similar to his own, but this guy is built with muscles that make’s Mickey look scrawny beside him, pulls off the five o’clock shadow that’s permanently on his jaw, which always just makes Mickey look like a hobo, but just increases Derek’s sex appeal. Derek’s smile becomes even bigger and brighter when Mickey smiles back at him, white teeth practically glowing and blinding Mickey.  
  
“Hey Man, sup?” He replies as he pockets his phone. He straightens himself up, this is his boss after all. He’s not really worried though, Derek’s a great guy who has taken Mickey under his wing and _loves_ to tell him how great he’s doing, _all_ the _fucking_ time. It’s kind of nice though to be appreciated after years of being told you’re a fuck up.  
  
Derek leans up against the wall next to Mickey and places his hand on Mickey’s shoulder.  
  
“Dude at the bar askin’ for you”   
  
He follow’s Derek’s line of sight towards the bar on the outskirts of the dance floor, he tries to look over and see if anyone looks familiar but he can’t really spot anyone he knows through the crowd of people, not from his position at least. He’s automatically nervous though and feels a new sheen of sweat soaking his body through apprehension.   
  
_Please don’t be him, please don’t be him._  
  
He hasn’t heard from Ian still, which isn’t that surprising considering Debbie has told him that both her and Fiona have told Ian to leave him alone and Debbie has been _pretty_ vocal about the fact that she’s been deliberately ignoring Ian, especially if he asks about Mickey. But still, Mickey’s kind of waiting for the inevitable to happen. Their neighbourhood isn’t that big, and this _is_ the only gay club around here so he’s kind of been expecting it. He has to ask though…  
  
“He Uhhh.. He aint got like, red hair?” He yells out over the loud music as both he and Derek begin walking side by side towards the bar. Derek shakes his head and yells back at him.   
  
“Naahh, it’s like a sandy kind of colour”   
  
They’re almost at the bar when Derek says that, the first thing Mickey feels is relief knowing that it’s not Ian here, then confusion… he’s racking his brain trying to figure out who it could be? None of the guys he works with doing construction are gay, he doubts they would come here to see him either way. Before he can ponder on the stranger here to see him, Derek’s stopped and nodded towards a guy by the bar. The moment Mickey can see who it is, he’s pissed and anxious.  
  
It’s not the Gallagher he was expecting and dreading; he’s not sure which one would be worse though, Ian, or the guy now standing in front of him, Lip.  
  
“The fuck you doing here?” He spits out at Lip, watching him as he turns around and smirks at Mickey and takes a swig of his beer.  
  
“Hey Mickey, long time no see, wanna buy your Ex brother in law a drink?”   
  
Mickey raises his eyebrows and scoffs at him. The prick looks smug as fuck as always, which just pisses Mickey off more. He clenches his fist to the side, trying to stop himself from pounding that smug smile off this assholes face. He takes a few deep breaths and counts to five before he speaks again, trying to calm the aggression that is bubbling up inside of him.   
  
“Go fuck yourself with a rusty robot Lip. Now what the _ever_ living **Fuck** you here for?”  
  
Lip leans over, scooting closer to Mickey, and pats him on the back like they’re fucking friends or something. Mickey shrugs his hand off of his back and grabs the bottle of water the bartender, Joe, hands him. Lip just chuckles lowly and keeps looking at Mickey up and down in judgement.   
  
“Your humour never fails to disappoint Mickey, I’m here to see if the rumour was true and to see if you actually had a legitimate job”   
  
“Well, now you’ve seen it in all its glory you can fuck the fuck off now college boy”   
  
Mickey goes to turn away from him and head back to his post but before he can, Lip grabs his arm. Mickey looks down at the hand that dares to touch him and then back at Lip’s face, Lip holds a stern expression and doesn’t let go.  
  
“I also wanted to let you know that Ian’s doing real good now, he’s got his life on track, making something of himself. Great boyfriend, been together for almost the whole time he’s been broken up with you.”  
  
Lips grip has tightened on his arm which would be painful of Lip wasn’t such a pussy, his knuckles are white sticking out brightly against Mickey’s black shirt under the florescent lighting of the bar and Mickey tries to shake it off, but Lip just grips on tighter. Mickey looks at the other guy and finds that stupid smug expression back on his face. Well fuck him, it’s not like Mickey didn’t know this shit already, it’s not like he’s been trying to fucking get Ian back either he’s been avoiding that mother fucker so why in the _hell_ is Lip telling him this shit? Mickey knows how much Lip had disapproved of his relationship with his little brother, they’ve never really gotten on well at any point so he’s not surprised that Lip is jumping in to defend and protect Ian, _but why now?  
  
_ “And I need to know your brother’s life blow by fucking blow because??”   
  
Lip let’s go of him, seemingly happy in the thought that Mickey has stopped trying to walk off and will now listen to him. Mickey crosses his arms and puffs his chest out, attempting to look menacing and not disturbed by the fact that Ian’s doing fine without him. He decided to not even bother questioning why Lip is warning him off now when he hasn’t bothered to do so in the last two years since the break-up.   
  
“Just reiterating the fact that his life’s so much better, now that you’re not in it. You know, there probably **is** a lot of blowing in that relationship come to think of it; the new guy’s built like a male model, hot black fire fighter I have no doubt that his hose is definitely more impressive than yours…”   
  
Mickey doesn’t want to hear this shit anymore, he’s happy Ian’s life’s better and that he’s doing something with his life and that finally things are working out for his ex-boyfriend. As hurt and upset that he is from the break up, he still wants Ian to be happy. But hearing about his _new boyfriend_ , that’s more than Mickey can handle.  
  
Mickey never thought he was good enough for Ian, so he figured anybody after him was clearly going to be a step up but he still has pride in himself, he tried and he doesn’t think he was that bad in the end. He’s always felt pretty self-conscious especially with Ian. Ian grew up and got hotter as the years went on, Mickey felt like he never changed and was always waiting for Ian to realise that there was better, hotter guys out there than him that would be into Ian.  
  
There’s a deep pain in his chest thinking that maybe that was why he broke it off, used the meds as an excuse to upgrade to a better boyfriend, like the one Lip’s talking about now.  
  
“You’re brother’s more about the ass than he is about the dick anyways” Mickey says as he begins to walk off, plastering a fake smirk on his face so Lip doesn’t think he’s got the upper hand, that he has successfully hurt Mickey’s feelings, the guy’s already big headed enough as it is and Mickey most definitely doesn’t want to stroke that assholes ego.  
  
So he fakes it, like he was brought up to do. Hiding his emotions from the people that wanted to hurt him, like his father back in the day. Like Lip right fucking now.  
  
“Maybe you just weren’t packing enough of what he needed” he hears Lip yell after him over the music and the crowd, Mickey doesn’t bother turning around he just flips the wanker off over his shoulder and makes his way over to an area far away from Lip so he can get back to work and try to stop thinking about Ian fucking some other guy. Ian happy with someone else, someone better than him, someone that can give him everything Mickey can’t. He tried to stop thinking about it, It doesn’t really work though.  
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
It’s Monday evening and he’s had the day off from both of his jobs, Yev’s just been picked up by Svetlana so Mickey’s finally relaxing on the couch with a beer contemplating ordering a Pizza for dinner when he hears a knock on the door. It’s unlocked as usual, Debbie usually just walks in now that she’s become a fixture in his day to day life, so he’s a little confused at why he’s gotten up and is opening the door, He’s even more confused at the bright eyed, wide smile in front of him standing on his porch. Fiona Gallagher.  
  
“Hey!” She says, in that stupid fake happy voice she always puts on, he can’t help but cringe at it. He’s still a little shocked to see her. He finally gets his mouth to work eventually and mumbles out a greeting to her.   
  
“Oh, Hi Fiona”   
  
He’s still standing there, eyes scrunched up staring at her. He’s deep in thought trying to figure out _why_ she’s here. She looks a little intimidated and nervous standing in front of him right now, good, so she should be.   
  
“Umm…So…How’s things?” She asks.   
  
And seriously? Since when does he do stupid small talk, _especially_ with her? Never. He’s annoyed because he’s already had to deal with Lip a few days ago and as much as he **tried** not to let what that fuckwit said bother him, it’s _all_ he has been able to think about over the last few days. He can’t deal with this doe eyed bitch putting her mother hen attitude in either.   
  
“Fan-fucking-tastic, look, I got the fucking memo loud and clear from Lip. And I’m pretty fucking sure I already told you fuckers that I was done with Ian anyway, so you can all leave me the fuck alone now. Pass it on to the rest of your horde”   
  
He’s about to slam the door in her face, but she sticks her foot there so it won’t close and pushes it back open. She looks fucking pissed off.  
  
“What did Lip fucking do now?” She growls out, she leans on the door frame crossing her arms across her chest, so Mickey steps back a little. He crosses his arms and tongues at his cheek. So, Fiona didn’t know that Lip came to his work to warn him off Ian. Well he definitely doesn’t want to talk about what Lip fucking said, he’d rather try and forget it. Although he’s tempted to say something because Fiona looks like she might rip Lip’s balls off for interfering. She looks pretty fucking mad. He decides to stick with not talking about it because, well… He hates talking about that shit.  
  
“Doesn’t fucking matter, what you are here for then?”   
  
He watches as she shuffles a little uncomfortably in his doorway.  
  
“I don’t really know to be honest, finished up at work and we had extra pie left over and I thought you might like it.” She says as she smiles at him and lifts up the bag she was carrying to show proof of the pie.   
  
Ok. This is really fucking weird. There has to be another reason, she wouldn’t just be here to give him fucking pie? Right? If she’s not here to back up Lip with warning him off of Ian, maybe she’s here because something’s _wrong_ with Ian. It seems to be the usual MO for the Gallagher’s lately, when something's up with Ian they come running to him. It’s annoying as shit, but he studies her face for a minute, she’s smiling fondly at him and she doesn’t _look_ overly stressed out, no more than usual anyway, so maybe she really _has_ just come over to give him pie.   
  
“Oh, thanks I guess. You need anything? Ian’s ok right?”   
  
She nods a little and walks into his house, making her way to the fridge. He follows her and she points to the bag and then the fridge, silently asking if she can put it in there. He nods at her and waits to hear about Ian. She looks a little apprehensive, something must be going on.   
  
“He’s good, I think… I dunno. He won’t really talk to any of us about anything these days. But he’s back at work and all that so he must be feeling better I guess. He’s… he’s not really ummmm.. home a lot nowadays.”   
  
She’s taken a seat at his table and for some reason he’s opened the fridge and pulled two beers out handing her one. He blames this shit on Debbie, giving away his fucking beers… _Jesus, who has he become?  
  
_  He watches her as she speaks; the last bit comes out a lot quitter, clearly worried that she’s about to upset or anger Mickey. Obviously Ian’s not home because he’s with his stupid boyfriend, having stupid sex, doing stupid _boyfriendy_ things. Lip’s words are running through his head again and … yeah… he’s fucking angry now.  
  
“Oh yeah, at his big black fire man boyfriends house huh?”   
  
It comes out snarky, so much bite to his words that he even surprises himself. Fiona stares at him, mouth open like a fucking fly trap.  
  
“You.. You know about him? I mean I knew you _knew_ he had one, just… You seem to know quite a _bit_ about him is all.”   
  
Her tone is a little accusing, like he’s been stalking Ian or some shit. He sighs and rolls his beer around on the table. He narrows his eyes at her.  
  
“I knew he had a boyfriend but Lip explained him in a tad bit more detail”   
  
She shakes her head and glares at her beer bottle, like it offended her. She puts it down on the table and then unties her hair, letting it fall down around her shoulders. She blows a stray strand away from her face and then turns her attention back on Mickey, shaking her head again, doe eye’s full of pity directed straight at Mickey.  
  
“Fucking Lip, sorry he’s such an asshole to you Mickey…. “   
  
Mickey just nods and takes another mouthful of his beer then diverts his attention back to Fiona, she’s playing with her hair again, about to put it back up into a ponytail. She only just took it out so she’s clearly acting sketchy. Once her hair is up, She starts picking at the bottle label in front of her, after a few awkward minutes of silence and secret glances at him she finally clears her throat and gives Micky her full attention.   
  
“Ian’s at his boyfriends a lot more than he’s home lately, But he does come by for family night once a week. He also pops in from time to time to help with bills and other shit like cleaning or fixing stuff. He seems… I don’t know…down though. It’s been more noticeable since his little….ummm… episode the other month. He just stares out at the window a lot, doesn’t really interact with any one. When he does talk or smile… It just seems like he’s forcing it, ya know? I asked Cale… the _boyfriend_ if Ian seems ok to him and he said he’s been about the same as he has always been with him, but like, he’s caught him zoning out a lot. Could be the meds but…”  
  
He nods as she speaks; he still doesn’t quite understand why she’s telling him all this though. Whatever, she clearly needs to get her worries off her chest. He can relate, worrying about Ian _can_ be taxing. He can be secretive and has this _need_ to be independent so he never lets anyone in when he needs it. And **that** can be scary, Ian can be reckless and do stupid shit like running off to the fucking army. God, he hopes his meds are working.  
  
“You think they’re not working again? He goin’ to that doctor still?”   
  
He can hear his voice crack and wobble with fear. Clearly Fiona hears it too because she gives him that weird soft look of hers, like she’s happy that Mickey cares and worries about her brother still, he fucking hates it.  
  
He downs the rest of his beer and grabs another one for the both of them as Fiona starts talking again. She’s starts picking at the new beers label, the shreds floating down onto his kitchen table, adding to the pile from her previous beer.   
  
“Yeah, he’s still going. And I think the meds are working so does Debs and he talks to her more than any one, so I think she’d notice. I ummm…. think he talks more to Debs than anyone else because she’s connected to you ya know? Maybe it makes him feel connected to you still too, I know he asks about you, to her. Look Mickey, I think he’s really struggling not having you around, maybe you could just try…”  
  
He doesn’t bother letting her finish because now he knows what she’s here for, and it sure as hell has nothing to do with fucking _pie_.   
  
He slams his beer down making her stop talking as she startles in the chair. He quickly makes his way to the fridge and grabs the pie out and then storms over to where she is still seated and shoves it in her face. He can’t control just how angry he is, he’s practically vibrating with rage. She leans back on the chair and he doesn’t miss the fear on her face, not that he cares right now he’s just so mad.   
  
“Ha… came over here to give me pie right? Should’ve fucken known. You don’t give a shit about me, you just think I can help fix your brother or some shit. Fuck you, take your fucking pie and get the fuck outta my house. Almost two years Fiona, didn’t hear shit from you til I became useful to you. You know Ian hurt me right? You know he _really_ fucking hurt me. I don’t expect you to give a shit about me really, why the fuck would you? I’m just some white trash your brother flicked aside. You never wanted me to be with him. I get it and its fine. But have a little fucking decency to leave a man to his misery and not drag him further into the dirt. Ian’ll be fine, it probably is just his meds or some shit. Just take him to his fucking doctor and leave me alone”   
  
She stands up during his rant and he starts herding her towards the door, he’s spitting his words out, almost frothing at the mouth like a rabid dog. He knows he’s over reacting a little; it’s just that he’s had enough. Lip on Friday, her now only a few days later, it’s just too much, it _hurts_  too much _._   
  
“I didn’t come here for that, I swear Mickey. I do care about you and I’m sorry, YOU brought up the topic of Ian and I just…” Fiona stops at the door, turning around to try and apologise but Mickey can’t take it anymore, he’s so done with all of this, done with being dragged back into Ian’s life when Ian gave up on him so long ago. How is he supposed to move on when all he keeps hearing about is Ian.  
  
And yeah, he realises that he _was_ the one to bring it up and question her, but he knows she was about to suggest that he try and talk to Ian and he just can't do that, it's easier if he gets mad right now and stops those words from coming out of Fiona's mouth because for some reason he seems to do whatever the Gallagher's tell him to do and he just _can't_ do that. He can't.  
  
“Please just leave Fiona”   
  
He can feel the tears burning his eyes threatening to fall and he just wants to be alone before he completely breaks down. Two years and he’s still not over Ian. Two years and it still hurts like it all happened yesterday. She must see it because she just sighs dejectedly and nods sadly at him before she leaves, with another sorry, before he closes the door and slides to the floor letting his tears out.   
  
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
It’s Thursday and he’s just finished work and fallen into a boneless heap on his lounge still covered in dried cement and dirt, it’s flaking all over his couch but he honestly couldn’t give a fuck right now. His whole body is aching. He’s been working hard at his construction job all week and it’s been fucking hard, harder than anything he’s ever done. He sighs deeply and looks longingly at the fridge, he can’t even muster up the energy to walk to the fridge to pull out a beer, and he desperately wants one. It’s times like these that he hates that he lives alone, he’s also kind of missing Debbie right now. He hasn’t seen her since Sunday, she’s been busy with Franny because she has a cold and she’s also started her studying. He also thinks she might be giving him some space after his altercations with Lip last Friday and then Fiona on Monday.  
  
He’s about to get up and make his way to the fridge when Svetlana comes through the door.  
  
“You come to twins’ birthday Saturday”   
  
As per usual, no hello, straight to the point… _Okay_.  
  
“You askin or tellin me?” he says as he points to the fridge, she rolls her eyes at him but walks over and grabs him a beer and hands it to him. She knows him so well now that he didn’t even have to ask, he basically drinks the whole thing in one gulp as she replies to him.  
  
“I am telling. Is your day with Yev, you will miss out if you do not come to party”   
  
He nods and burps as he shakes the bottle at her.  
  
“Will there be booze?”   
  
Because like _fuck_ he’s going to a kid’s party with snotty nosed toddlers, squealing and touching him with their dirty little kid paws with no incentive. He doesn’t mind when it’s his own kid, anybody else’s though, fuck no.   
  
“Of course” She scoffs at him as she leans her hip on the other couch, arms crossed with her intimidating Russian scowl on.   
  
He contemplates it for a little while, rubbing his thumb under his bottom lip, because he knows that the Gallagher’s will no doubt be there. Fiona, Liam and Debbie for sure maybe Carl too, Lip probably won’t be there because of his stupid college shit, Ian might not be there because by the sounds of it he spends most of his time at his boyfriends. He can deal with the others as long as those two aren’t there.   
  
“Fine, I’ll be there”   
  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
  
He rocks up to the party just after noon, he worked at the club the night before and he hoped that if he came a little later the Gallagher’s might not be there.   
  
No such luck.  
  
As he enters the back yard he spots Fiona carrying two plates of food, she’s making her way over to a spot where Liam is sitting with Franny, Debs, and Carl and… Ian.  
  
He quickly diverts his attention and finds his son and Svetlana over by the table with all the food on it. He glances over at the Gallagher’s and he has the worst timing ever because at that exact moment Ian looks up and they’re eyes lock on one another. He watches as Ian drops his plate of food straight on the ground and bolts off. He watches his figure retreating and the moment he’s out of sight he notices Debbie walking over towards him.   
  
“I swear Mickey, we didn’t know you’d be here” She apologises to him and he glances at the rest of the Gallagher’s who are looking at him and the spot where Ian just fled to. _Could this be any more fucking awkward?_ He shakes his head at Debbie.   
  
“Its fine Debs, he didn’t have to leave.”   
  
She bites at her lip as Mickey starts filling a plate up with food, hoping to avoid this awkwardness.  
  
“You sure, because… I’m going to go find him and bring him back. That’s okay, right?” She lets out a nervous breath whilst waiting for him to reply.  
  
He looks over at the other Gallagher’s and can see their worried faces looking towards their house, and then he looks back at Debbie who is mirroring their sad, worried expressions. He huffs out a breath and waves his hand about dismissively and continues to fill up his plate.  
  
“Not my party, he got an invite same as me. I don’t give a shit if he’s here or not.”   
  
Out of the corner of his eye he sees her nod; she pats him lightly on the arm before she walks off, probably in the direction of Ian. He grabs his plate and leans up against a tree to eat as his son and Svetlana sit by his feet eating their food. Kev walks over and hands him a beer, clapping down on his shoulder and squeezing it lightly , he starts talking about the Alibi and rambling on about babies and shit before walking off again.  
  
Once his plate is almost finished he looks up when he hears the gate screech open and Debbie walks through with Ian trailing behind her. He looks back down and avoids looking anywhere near where the Gallagher’s are seated.   
  
Once his plate is finished, Svet takes it away with hers and Yev’s, handing him another beer before she leaves. He can’t help but glance over towards where Ian is sitting every now and then, Ian is either staring down at his hands or Mickey’s eye catches his when they happen to glance over at each other at the same time.  
  
Ian looks good, Mickey realises that this is the first time he has properly seen him since his little episode a while back now. He's wearing tight grey jeans with a white v neck and a leather jacket. He remembers that jacket, the job he had stripping that paid for it too. He swallows a lump that forms in his throat from all the memories that come flooding in just from seeing him wear something familiar, back when they were together.  
  
After a while, when their eyes have met for the hundredth time in the last 30 minutes, Mickey looks over and watches as Ian takes a deep breath, stands up straight, with a determined expression on his face and too Mickey’s absolute horror, he walks straight towards him. Although he looks confident, the moment he reaches Mickey, the older man can tell that he’s actually a ball of bumbling nerves.   
  
“I… I didn’t think that you… I didn’t… I’m sorry” he stutters out, as he rubs at the back of his neck, face flushed in an adorable shade of pink. Mickey keeps leaning against the tree, starts tapping his fingers along the neck of his beer bottle, feeling his own nerves racking through his body. He takes another mouthful before speaking, trying to quench the dryness in his throat so he doesn’t sound like a mess when he replies.   
  
“Its fine Gallagher, it’s a small fucking neighbourhood, can’t really avoid each other forever right?”   
  
Ian let’s out a small relieved sigh as he says “I guess so” and then leans next to Mickey on the tree, clearly more relaxed now that Mickey has placated him to some degree. Mickey on the other hand is more nervous now that Ian’s body is even closer to him than it was before, he can almost feel Ian’s arm against his own. Unconsciously he moves his arm so now it’s crossed across his chest. He’s scared to touch him, scared that it will break him completely.   
  
“You… Uhhh, You doing okay man?” He can’t help but ask, after having Fiona voice her concerns on Monday it’s all he’s been able to think of. He glances over at Ian as Ian turns to face him. He smiles at him and it’s almost an automatic response to smile back.  
  
“On my meds, they’re doing their job.”  
  
Mickey shakes his head and takes another mouthful of his drink, Ian sounds as if that is his automated response to a question he so clearly gets asked frequently. He smirks back up at Ian   
  
“Not what I asked, I asked if _you’re_ doing ok?”   
  
Ian glances over at his family and nods, the smile on his face has dimmed down now. He turns back around to fully face Mickey with a now fake smile. Mickey watches as Ian takes a deep breath before answering bluntly.  
  
“Yep”   
  
“You’re a shitty liar man” Mickey scoffs back at him, chuckling slightly. He knows Ian too well; he’s hiding something, something he doesn’t want anybody to know. Clearly something is up with him. Before Mickey can push for further information, Ian’s talking to him again. Because he knows Mickey just as well and obviously knew that he was going to ask more questions that he didn’t want to answer.   
  
“What about you? You doing okay?”  
  
Mickey just shrugs and looks over towards where Yev is playing with the twins. The breeze has picked up a little, causing the table cloth to flap about and the kids are finding it amusing, which Mickey finds amusing, so he watches them play under the table for a while. He’s so entranced by the kids that he forgot that Ian was still beside him until he hears the redhead clear his throat; Mickey looks over at him, finding Ian staring at him and from the guilty expression on the redheads face, he has been doing it for quite a while. Mickey just raises his eyebrows at him in question. Ian clears his throat and looks down at his feet, mumbling the next few words out.  
  
“Did you… Did you read my letter or did you just throw it away?”  
  
The question completely throws Mickey off, he wasn’t expecting Ian to talk about it. He _definitely_ doesn’t want to talk about it. He sighs and looks down at the grass beneath his feet. The fucking letter. It makes him angry to think about it. He takes a few breaths and then answers Ian, who is nervously fidgeting beside him.   
  
“I read it” He says shakily, he doesn’t look back up at Ian, but he can hear the shock in his voice when he speaks.  
  
“You did? Was it… did it… fuck, I don’t know what the fuck to do or say here”   
  
Ian laughs nervously and Mickey can’t help but chuckle a little bit too.   
  
“There’s a first for everything, usually you just blabber on and on about a hundred different things a mile a minute”   
  
“Yeah, well. I’m confused as shit, I have a million things I wanna say to you and just as many things that I wanna ask you too. I’m just freaking out that you’ll run away or I’ll freak you out or something. I want to talk to you, so fucking bad, but I’m scared.”   
  
Mickey can’t help but huff out an exasperated laugh, the _nerve_ of this guy. He’s fucking scared? He doesn’t want Mickey to freak out and run?   
  
“I wasn’t the one who ran Gallagher” He can’t help the angry tone that his words carry. He glances up at Ian as he chugs the last of his now warm beer. Ian’s face is scrunched up, his eyebrows furrowed.   
  
“Fair call I guess, but you _were_ the one who lashed out if I tried to talk to you about feelings and shit so, just trying to say things in a way that won’t end up with me having a black eye or crying like a girl”   
  
Mickey flinches at the memories of him hitting Ian, but he just shakes his head and puts the empty bottle down on the ground. Once he straightens up he crosses his arms and faces Ian, glaring up at the taller boy. Yeah, he has a point. Mickey _used_ to do that kind of shit back in the day, before they were really together, before he _actually_ put himself out there and tried to do right by Ian, tried to be there for his boyfriend before it all got thrown back in his face. He sucks on his teeth and shakes his head again as he looks at Ian.   
  
“Low blow” he says through his teeth, still staring the taller boy down.  
  
Ian crosses his arms too, glares right back at him, juts his chin out like he always does when he gets pissy.   
  
“You started it with the running away shit” Ian huffs out at him.   
  
Mickey can’t be bothered with this pointless he-said-she-said bullshit anymore. He just raises his eyebrows up at Ian and walks off, leaving a fuming redhead standing alone under the tree.  
  
Svetlana, Vee and Fiona are starting to pack up the uneaten food. Debbie is running around with the smaller children, keeping them occupied. Mickey’s not sure where he’s walking off to, all he knows is that he needs to get away from Ian, he doesn’t want to fight with him or bring up painful memories. He spots Kev and Carl sitting down and makes his way over there. Kev hands him another beer and Carl nods at him in greeting. He nods back and turns to talk to Kev but before he can he feels a hand on his bicep, gently turning him around. He sighs deeply before he’s faced with the man turning him around; Ian never knew when to stop pushing.   
  
“I just want to know if the letter helped you to understand, if you get that it was _never_ about you. I want to know if you can forgive me, even if it’s just a little bit”   
  
He really didn’t want to get into this here, surrounded by so many prying eyes and eavesdroppers, but _fuck_ this, Ian’s pushed him to do this and Mickey can’t keep it in anymore.  
  
“Look Ian, I’m not gonna sugar coat shit here, I’m gonna be honest with you… I’m confused, I mean, you _pushed_ me so hard to be this guy that you wanted me to be, I finally do it, break all my fucking walls down and then you’re just... done. Blame it on the bipolar or whatever else you want, but you weren’t fucking manic or whatever the whole time, I just… I think you wanted someone to chase and change and then when you got what you wanted, you didn’t want it anymore. That’s how I feel about it. You can preach about how I didn’t deserve to be put through all your shit, but you stood by me through a lot of my crap too. It should’ve been my choice to stick around or not, not yours, I wanted to be there for you! You talk about how could I look at you after all the shit you did to me, what about all the shit I did to you before? We’ve been a fucking mess, we’ve fucking hurt each other and ourselves. But fuck Ian, we could’ve been great. I felt it, I _knew_ it. And you didn’t, you _don’t_ … I’m fucking angry that you said you needed to sort yourself out on your own and then I find out a few months later, you’re dating _someone else_? The reasons you gave me in your letter feel like a complete cop out. You obviously were just finished with me, you didn’t care, you should just man the fuck up and admit to it”   
  
He’s fucking angry and his words carry so much heat and venom, his tone is low but deadly and by the hurt look on Ian’s face, everything he has said came out like a punch to Ian’s stomach. He can’t look in Ian’s eyes so he glances over the redheads shoulder and finds Vee and Fiona gaping over at them. _Great, they have a fucking crowd._ He knows that Kev and Carl are still seated behind him, no doubt they're listening too.  
  
“You don’t _understand_ Mickey; You’ve got it all wrong. The letter was shit, everything was jumbled up and you didn’t get the point I was trying to make. Fuck, you really hate me now, don’t you?”   
  
He glances back over to Ian’s face and looks at his sad expression, his bottom lip starts quivering and he watches as Ian sucks his lip into his mouth, biting down on it to stop from crying. He hates this look; he can feel his anger receding slightly. He rubs at his bottom lip and sighs.   
  
“I don’t hate you Ian, I couldn’t even if I wanted to and fuck do I want to. There’s nothing to forgive. What’s done is done and I just want you to be happy and healthy. Do good shit with your life, it’s what you’ve always been fucking meant for. You just gotta understand man that, I can’t be around you anymore. You let me go and I get it. It’s ok, still hurts like a bitch and honestly man, I doubt whatever reason you give me will ever make sense to me, why you ended us. It’s too hard for me to be around you anymore and that’s why I don’t think we can be friends and I can’t… Look, you and me we’re nothing anymore, I don’t **want** to be your friend Ian, I’m sorry”   
  
He hears a gasp coming from the women behind him, he takes his eyes off Ian and looks over to where Fiona has her hand over her mouth and tears in her eyes, _such a fucking drama_ _queen_. Vee looks just as shocked though. Ian’s facing the women to, but they both turn their attention back towards each other.  
  
Ian’s crying, silent tears falling down his face. He looks embarrassed and hurt. He nods his head in agreement to Mickey, wipes his face and takes a shaky wet breath. The tears are still falling down his face and he’s not bothering to wipe them away, there’s too many to stop now. Mickey feels his heart breaking at the sight and before he can even think about what he’s doing he moves forward to rub his hand down Ian’s arm to try and soothe him, Ian just shakes him off, shaking his head as he tries to contain his sobs and tries to speak through his crying.   
  
“S’Okay. I’m okay. I… Thanks for being... honest and I…” He doesn’t finish what he’s trying to say, as a loud sob chokes his words from his throat and instead Ian just runs off towards his house, for the second time today, because of Mickey. Mickey tries to go after him, yelling out too him to get him to stop.   
  
“Ian… IAN!! Hold up… Fuck”   
  
He’s too late, Ian’s ran straight past his house and there is no way Mickey will catch up to him with his short legs against Ian’s long ones, plus Fiona was following them and the moment she saw Ian speed up into a sprint, she sped off after him. It’s probably better this way because no doubt whatever Mickey was going to try and say would’ve probably just made matters worse anyway.   
  
He runs a hand down his face and lets out another quiet “Fuck” until he feels a presence behind him; he turns around to find Kev, Vee and Carl looking at him with concern, sadness and even a little bit of anger. Great.  
  
“Some of that was, like, really fucking sweet Milkovich, but fuck, some of that was fucking brutal too” Kev says in a shocked whisper, still loud enough for Mickey to hear.   
  
Mickey just glares at him. He wasn’t trying to hurt Ian’s feelings, he was just being honest. Nobody understands that what he just said and did to Ian, hurt him more than he thinks it hurt the other guy. He doesn’t bother even acknowledging any of them he just walks off towards his house.  
  
Fuck this week and all the drama the Gallagher’s have brought him lately, he just can’t seem to escape those fuckers.


	5. Carl And The Confrontation

After the fiasco at the kid’s party, Mickey made it home with hours to spare before he even had to think about getting ready for work. He’d had a few drinks at the party and couldn’t really have anymore because no way in _hell_ was he going to be able to work shit faced at the club and keep his job. His mind was racing, thinking about Ian, and the silent house wasn’t helping the situation. He needed a distraction. He took his phone out and flipped through the contacts, looking for someone to call to bitch too, hang out with, maybe even someone to fuck the redhead out of his thoughts. He stopped suddenly at the M contacts, seeing Mandy’s name and hovering over it.   
  
He hadn’t spoken to her since she left with Kenyatta and moved to Indiana. She had messaged him a few times, over trivial shit, probably to stop him from worrying that the fucker she was with had murdered her or some shit. He could really do with hearing her voice though, but he didn’t have the guts to call her. He hadn’t told her about the break up with Ian, she hadn’t mentioned it either and he wasn’t sure if she just didn’t want to talk about it or if she didn’t _know_.   
  
He almost dropped his phone when he heard the front door open, he whipped his head around and found Debbie and Carl walking into his house.  
  
“Hey Mickey, just thought I’d come round see if you’re alright” Debbie said as she plopped herself down next to him on the couch. Carl stood awkwardly behind her, hands in his pockets and shoulders slumped as his eyes flittered around the Milkovich living room. Mickey eyed him wearily, unsure about Carl’s opinion of him. Not that he really cared, he just wasn’t in the mood for another argument today.  
  
“I’m fucking fine, why wouldn’t I be?” He replied gruffly, pocketing his phone and putting his thoughts on calling Mandy aside. Debbie sighed deeply and looked at him through narrowed eyes.   
  
“Don’t give me that shit, I know you Mickey, I know that was hard”   
  
He swallowed harshly, because she was right, it had been hard on him talking to Ian, even just _seeing_ him for the first time in months was enough to have caused him pain let alone the argument they’d had. But he felt better for it in some small way, he told Ian how he felt about the stupid letter, told him that he wanted to put Ian and their whole relationship behind him and move forward, without Ian in his life.  
  
“Yeah well… He alright?” Mickey couldn’t help but ask, Ian’s stricken face after Mickey’s speech was still stuck on repeat in his mind. He felt bad about it, he hadn’t wanted to make him upset but Ian had just pushed him and pushed him until he cracked. He was surprised when it was Carl’s voice he heard answering his question and not Debbie’s.  
  
“He’s back at home, Fiona said he’s alright, he’s up in our old room moping about by himself like usual.” Carl said as he made his way around the couch to finally take a seat. Carl’s face was expressionless, no tell-tale signs of anger or pity.  
  
“Sorry bout that” Mickey apologised, darting his eyes between the two Gallagher siblings, Carl shrugged at him and Debbie opened her mouth to speak but before she could Carl’s voice cut her off.  
  
“Not your fault man, he deserved it. I would’ve fucking punched him if I was you, I think he got off lightly.”   
  
Mickey was completely shocked by Carl’s words and the anger they carried. He stared at Carl for a moment, no longer did he see the kid that he used to be just a few years prior, he looked and acted a lot like Mickey did at his age, he almost saw a mirrored image of himself. Carl looked hard and mean and like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders that no kid his age should.   
  
“You’re not pissed at me for making your brother cry?” Mickey asked incredulously.  
  
“Fuck no, Ian’s an asshole.” Carl spat out, a sneer on his lips.  
  
“Carl!” Debbie yelled out at her brother, slapping him on his upper arm. Mickey on the other hand, had to bite back a laugh at what Carl said. It’s exactly what Mickey thought of his ex-boyfriend nowadays.  
  
“What? He fucking is!! _I_ know it, _you_ know it. I even think _Ian_ knows it. He never fucking hangs out with us anymore, when he does he acts like a totally different person. It’s like, he’s been abducted by _aliens_ or some shit… he’s not Ian anymore”   
  
Carl was angry, but Mickey and probably Debbie too could see the sadness behind the anger in his voice. Mickey takes a moment and really looks at Carl, from what Mickey remembers Carl used to idolise Ian, he was always talking his ear off about Army tactics, knives and guns. Ian used to be pretty good with the kid if Mickey remembers correctly. But now, it’s obvious that Ian hasn’t just pulled himself out of Mickey’s life, he’s done it to his whole family. It looks like Carl’s not taking it so well, Mickey can see past the façade Carl’s putting on. He’s so much like himself that it’s almost scary.  
  
He can get why Ian might distance himself from the older two, they can be overbearing sometimes, but Debs, Carl and Liam… It doesn’t make sense. Carl puts on a brave face, but the kid looks lost, hurt and miserable, Mickey can totally relate. He doesn’t know what to say to make the kid feel any better, and by the way that Debbie has diverted her attention to her nails, neither does she. Carl fidgets in his seat, probably because no one had addressed what he just said, and Mickey’s still staring at him. Mickey clears his throat and walks over to the locked cabinet in the corner.  
  
“You like knives and shit still? When Debs was baby proofing the house, she found all my dad’s and my brother’s weapons and we locked ‘em up in here… You should check out this old as fuck combat knife, looks old as shit, might even be from like, world war 2 or something”   
  
He looks over his shoulder and watches Carl quirk an eyebrow up, the kid isn’t as dumb as everyone thinks, he knows Mickey’s changing the subject and trying to cheer him up. He’s probably more surprised that Mickey’s being nice and caring more than anything. But Carl just smiles and walks over to the case and gawks at all the dangerous shit in there in awe.  
  
“Dude, there’s still blood on this one!”   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
After an hour of talking shit with Carl and rummaging through the pile of weapons, Mickey had to get ready for work so the Gallagher’s had left him to it. Carl needing to be patted down at the door because Mickey knew the little shit had pocketed stuff that Fiona would _kill_ Mickey for if she found out where he got them from. He surprised himself by offering to take Carl up to his target practise area to teach the kid how to shoot properly, much to Debbie’s annoyance. She kept telling them both that Carl needed to keep his nose clean after winding up in Juvie, but Mickey promised he’d keep him in line. Someone has to now that Ian wasn’t around to keep an eye on him.   
  
Mickey couldn’t help but laugh after they left, because here he was, more a part of the Gallagher family than he ever had been when he was _actually_ with Ian. Debbie had become a friend because she had forced it at first, but now they had a strong bond and he could honestly say that he would do anything for her. But with Carl, he felt this need to be there for him because it looked like he was suffering without his older brothers around. Lip was in college, and Ian had checked out on them all. Carl clearly felt abandoned by the two male role models in his life, and although Mickey knew he wasn’t somebody you should look up to, he felt like they had that in common and maybe he could help him out, guide him in a better direction than Mickey almost headed, that Carl looked like he could be heading towards now.  
  
Mickey never had the close relationship with his family like the Gallagher’s did, but he understood what it felt like to be abandoned by the people you cared about. His dad might’ve been a piece of shit but having him completely turn his back on him, try to _kill_ him because he was gay, had really fucked him up. He had always been the one his dad looked to for help with the family business, he proudly would tell people how tough Mickey was, but all of that went out the window because of Mickey’s sexual preferences.  
  
Mandy had left in the midst of Ian’s mental breakdown leaving Mickey on his own to deal with it all without the one other person, besides Ian, that he relied on for support.  
  
Ian had left him after Mickey had given him everything that he had wanted, finally, but it hadn’t been enough. Then he had no-one, he knew abandonment, it sucked.  
  
But Debbie had picked Mickey back up, she had shown him that someone still cared. So if he could repay her by being there for her brother like she had been there for Mickey, then he would.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
Mickey was stuck on the door tonight, scanning ID’s and keeping the waiting line in order. It was so boring, the night dragged on and he was still in a shitty mood from earlier. All of his workmates had noticed, he was more unfriendly than usual, kept to himself for most of his shift because he was so lost in thought all night.  
  
“Hey Mickey blue eyes” Derek had come outside to check on how they were doing, brought him and Frankie out two hot cups of coffee, this guy was a saint. The cup was warming his cold hands and the hot liquid going down was doing the same to his insides.  
  
“Hey D” He replied after taking a few sips of his coffee, made exactly how he liked it. Derek stood off to the side and lit up a cigarette, handing it to Mickey and then lighting another one for himself. Frankie scrunched his nose up and shooed them away, he had quit a few months back and ever since he would whine like a bitch if you smoked near him. Mickey and Derek took a few steps away from the other man, leaning up against the building, enjoying their coffee and cigarettes in comfortable silence. Mickey finished both of his first, threw the cup in the bin and his cigarette on the floor and went to make his way back to help Frankie out at the door, but Derek grabbed him gently by the wrist halting his actions.  
  
“You all good? You seem a bit off tonight?”   
  
Mickey felt guilt creep up on him, Derek had been so good to him and here he was letting the guy down by being a shitty worker because he was letting his personal problems affect his work. He nervously shoved his hands in his pocket and looked over to Frankie before looking back up at Derek. The other man didn’t seem to be angry, he just looked worried.  
  
“Just got shit on my mind, Sorry man”   
  
Derek sighed and smiled at him, slightly shaking his head. Derek’s response shocked Mickey, it was almost like the other man could see inside his head, and knew how guilty Mickey felt about letting the other man down.   
  
“It’s _fine_ Mickey, You’re doing a good job, it’s just… you just seem down tonight. I just want you to know that if you ever never someone to talk too, or just get drunk with. I’m always here man”   
  
Mickey smiled back at him and slapped him on the back, as they both began making their way back to the door.  
  
“Thanks man, ‘preciate it” Mickey said honestly, because he really did.   
  
  
  
By the end of his shift Mickey was in a slightly better mood, they’d had to get in the middle of a couple of fights and Mickey had let his anger out a little by slamming someone into the wall and throwing him out on the street _and_ by punching another guy that had swung at Frankie. He made his way inside to clock off and grab his things out of his locker, he spotted Derek by the bar looking over some paperwork and made his way over.  
  
“Yo, Derek! You got the night off tomorrow right?” he asked, Derek’s eyes shot up from whatever he was reading and smiled over at him. Derek lent on the bar and eyed Mickey suspiciously.   
  
“Sure do Mickey Blue”   
  
Mickey laughed at him, that nickname sounded so gay. He lent on the bar next to Derek, rapping his knuckles nervously on the bar. He hadn’t really thought this through, he wasn’t sure what the hell he was doing asking his boss out. He wasn’t doing it with the intentions of hooking up with Derek, he more so wanted to do this as a friendly thing. Derek had been so nice to him and Mickey figured he could try and expand his friends list a little, show his gratitude to the other man for all his kindness and invite the guy out for a drink. He just didn’t want to give the guy the wrong impression, he wasn’t even sure if Derek thought of him in that way anyway. He cleared his throat a little before asking his question.   
  
“You know the Alibi? You wanna grab a drink tomorrow night? As friends… If you’re free… You don’t have to or….” Mickey stumbled out feeling a blush hit his cheeks. Derek looked like he was trying not to laugh at him as he cut Mickey off mid rant and placed his hand on Mickey’s shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze.   
  
“Shut up Mickey! Sounds good, I’ll meet you there around 5 or something, cool with you?”   
  
Mickey nodded, feeling relieved that Derek ignored Mickey’s awkwardness.   
  
“Yeah man, sounds good, I’ll meet you there!”   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
Mickey walked into the Alibi just before 5, he took a seat at the bar and ordered a drink. Kev kept looking behind him at a booth in the corner, Mickey refused to look around, he could guess by Kev’s expression who would be sitting behind him. Ian.   
  
“No trouble tonight, alright Mick” Kev said as he placed the beer in front of Mickey, eye’s darting between the man in front of him and the booth behind him.  
  
“Just having a beer Kev, not here for anything else” Mickey replied. He was pissed off that Kevin was acting like Mickey was the one stirring shit up with Ian all the time. Hadn’t people realised by now that he was staying out of the redheads business, Ian was the one starting shit for a change.  
  
“Just gonna tell you right out the gate then, Ian’s here with his boyfriend, plus Lip and Carl. Apparently Monica showed up and there was a bit of drama. It’s not a good time Mickey, alright”   
  
Shit. Mickey barely had time to get over the drop in his stomach knowing that right behind him was the new boyfriend, before it dropped again at the mention of Ian’s mother’s name. He hated that bitch, he couldn’t help but blame her for Ian’s illness and he felt like she had to have played some part in the reason Ian ended it with him. He ran off with that bitch the moment he got out of that Military base, when he came back he ended it. They had been talking about going on a fucking date the last time he saw him for fucksake, then he comes back and wants nothing to do with Mickey anymore… She had to have influenced his decision somehow.  
  
He ran his hands down his face. He wanted to turn around a check his replacement out, he wanted to check to see if Ian was alright but he stayed facing the bar, it took all his willpower to remain facing that god damned bar. Kev was right, this night would end badly if Mickey stayed here, but he was supposed to be meeting Derek here any minute.   
  
“Shit. Alright, fuck…. Look. I would leave but I’m meeting a friend here and I can’t bail on him like this man” Kev opened his mouth to reply but was interrupted by Lip dropping an empty pitcher of beer on top of the bar. Lip smirked at Mickey, wobbling slightly where he stood. He was clearly already drunk and Mickey knew that with the Monica shit going on, he would be raring for a fight and Mickey was probably going to be his target. Mickey kept his eyes trained on Kev and drank his beer trying to ignore Lip. Trying being the operative word.   
  
“You have a friend other than my little sister, who is it? My little brother Liam?” Lip slurred out and then laughed at his own joke. Kev was filling the pitcher up, eyeing both of the boys. Mickey felt the anger rise up, Kev stopped his eyes on him and raised his eyebrows up clearly seeing that Mickey was fighting to contain his anger. Mickey shook his head and took a breath to calm down.  
  
“Fuck off _Phillip_ ” he couldn’t help but reply, he was never one to like letting Lip get the better of him, and he was still pissed about their last conversation.  
  
“Hey Mickey Blue, started without me I see!” A big booming voice said from behind him, Mickey tensed up slightly knowing that everyone would be eyeing the newcomer, watching him as he sat down and smiled at Mickey. _Ian would see him with some other guy and might get jealous? Did he even care enough anymore to get jealous?_ He shook those questions off as quickly as they came to him.  
  
Although he knew he should grab Derek right this second and leave, he didn’t want Lip to think Mickey was bolting out with his tail between his legs. Mickey downed the rest of his drink, swivelled in his seat to face Derek, and to put his back to Lip. He smiled back at the other man and then directed his attention to Kev who was handing Lip the now full pitcher of beer and clearly trying to get Lip to back off and leave Mickey and Derek alone.  
  
“Kev, can I grab another beer and Derek will have a jack and coke” Mickey asked Kevin. Lip still hadn’t left and Kev just sighed and began pouring Mickey’s drinks.  
  
“Love a man that remembers my drink order” Derek said to Mickey, patting him lightly on the back. Lip stretched his arm out in front of Mickey, getting Derek’s attention. Derek smiled and shook the hand that Lip had given him whilst Mickey glared at Lip. _What was this fucker doing?_  
  
“Hi, I’m Lip. You know this guy’s an asshole right?” Lip said with his hand still clasped with Derek’s. Derek must have tightened the grip because Lip winced and the moment Derek released his hand Lip shook it off, wriggling his fingers to gain feeling back. Mickey chuckled into his drink and then almost spat out the mouthful he had just taken at Derek’s reply.  
  
“Only asshole I see here, is you kid.” Derek’s voice was scary when he was mad. He was clearly pissed right now and Lip just shook his head and walked off, much to Mickey’s amusement. Derek began drinking his drink and looking around the bar. Mickey couldn’t help himself and he finally took a quick peek at the booth that the Gallagher’s were occupying. Staring right at him was Ian. His breath caught in his throat and he quickly diverted his attention over to Derek.   
  
Fuck, Ian looked drunk and he looked fucking angry. The look that he had seen on Ian’s face the day he had Kenyatta up against the wall with a knife at his throat paled in comparison to the look he had on his face today. It was fucking terrifying. He started downing his beer, finishing the whole thing off in one go and slamming the empty glass down on the bar nervously. Derek looked at him, confused as to why Mickey was acting weirdly. Mickey sighed and lent in close to Derek.  
  
“Look, I know I invited you here but, I think tonight’s not a good night man. I think we should finish these drinks up and go somewhere else.”   
  
Derek looked over at the booth behind Mickey and raised his eyebrows up.  
  
“Oh, 'cause of that prick from before?” he said as he tilted his head in the direction of where Mickey assumed Lip was seated. Mickey shook his head, still not turning around but Derek’s eyes remained on the people behind him.   
  
“Nahh, he’s my ex’s brother, and my ex happens to be sitting with him in the booth back there. Apparently they’ve had a rough day and I just don’t want shit to start. You wanna go somewhere else? We could go back to mine?”   
  
Mickey watched as Derek took a mouthful of his drink, eyes still hovering on something behind Mickey, he thought it was probably Lip… Until…  
  
“Your Ex wouldn’t happen to be a tall redhead would it?”   
  
His stomach dropped and he already knew what Derek was going to say, even though he still stupidly asked. “Yeah, why?”   
  
Derek looked from Mickey to something, no he already knew it was _someone_ , standing behind him, and then back to Mickey.  
  
“He’s kind of behind you”   
  
Although he had guessed that answer already, when he slowly turned himself around to face Ian, his heart still sped up and his grasp on his glass became slippery from the sweat that had begun to form on his palms. Ian looked drunker than Mickey had originally thought, swaying slightly where he stood clearly leaning against the bar for support. He still looked angry, but Mickey could see behind that, he could see that Ian was close to unravelling, he was so temperamental and Mickey had no idea what mood would be unleashed the moment Ian cracked, he didn’t want to stick around to find out.  
  
“Hey Miiiiick, who’s ya friend? You wanna take him somewhere else hey? You actually inviting him around to your house, you gonna fuck him in a bed? What, he too good for the alley way, or the dug outs, you used to like to fuck in the dug outs right? Stepping up in life, taking your quick fucks to a bed, or is he more than a quick fuck Mick? Fuck... it took me _years_ to get to fuck you in a bed after our first time and look at you now, so fucking _proud_ of you Mick. You’ve turned into such a fucking gentlemen haven’t you? I do all the hard fucking work and this guy, this _really_ attractive guy, he reaps all the fucking benefits? I’m glad that I could help you turn your life around whilst mine fell to shit, at least something good came out if it all I guess, hey Mickey? I can give you some pointers man, tell you the way he _really_ fucking likes it, I know _all_ his sweet spots. Maybe we could pass notes..”   
  
Jesus. If Mickey was drunk, or if Ian wasn’t in such a bad shape right now, Mickey would’ve kicked the ever living shit out of this asshole right now. But somehow, Mickey rained in his anger, repeating in his head over and over again that what he said didn’t matter and that Ian was a mess. _Be the bigger man for a change, be the bigger man_.   
  
Mickey took a deep breath and clenched his jaw staring Ian down with a harsh glare.  
  
“Ian man, go back to your booth” Mickey spoke through gritted teeth, his whole body was raring for a fight but he refused to give in to his anger. He got up from his stool and turned his back on the redhead and went to make a move to walk off, Ian clearly had other ideas as he grabbed on to Mickey’s arm stopping him from leaving.   
  
“Hey, don’t fucking walk away from me when I’m talking to you!” Ian slurred out loudly, stumbling slightly as his body fell into Mickeys. Mickey looked up at him and tried to shake Ian off, Ian held firm and it took all of Mickey’s willpower to keep his fist at his side. He looked over Ian’s shoulder to where Lip, Carl and the boyfriend were still seated drinking away clearly oblivious to the confrontation going on between Ian and Mickey.   
  
“Yo! A little fucking help over here guys?” Mickey yelled out at the three boys as he attempted to push Ian out of his space, Ian stumbled back a little but didn’t let go. He could feel Derek now standing behind him and Mickey had a feeling that this was about to get real messy.  
  
“The fuck are you doing Mickey?” Lip yelled out as he made his way over as if Mickey was the one causing a scene and not Ian. Yeah he had pushed the fucker a little, but Ian was the one who approached him spouting off complete bullshit to rile him up. But _of course_ Lip would somehow turn this all on Mickey.   
  
“Yeah, of course this is my fault right? Your brothers fucking _wasted_ man, take him the fuck home.” Mickey said as Lip finally approached them. Mickey’s eyes darted over to the boyfriend who was also making his way over, sizing Mickey up and then looking at where Ian’s hand was situated, still holding on to Mickey.   
  
“Get your fucking hands off of me!!” Ian yelled out the moment Lip took hold of Ian by the shoulder, Ian glared at his brother but he finally let go of Mickey’s arm. The boyfriend approached Ian’s other side and tentatively touched Ian’s other shoulder. Mickey felt the possessive need to grab that hand and break it, but he bit down on it and turned his head to the side, staring at the door he wanted to bolt out of instead.   
  
He hadn’t looked at the guy too much, but he could see that he was good looking, tall and he carried himself with class that Mickey could and never would have. The way he touched Ian so gently and lovingly was such a painful thing to watch.   
  
“Ian, come on. Let me take you back to mine okay?”   
  
He spoke so sweetly and tenderly to Ian that Mickey felt himself flinch at his voice. His eyes involuntarily flicked over to Ian’s, to see the way he interacted with his new boyfriend but Ian was ignoring him, staring at Mickey instead and then looking behind him at Derek. Lip pulled a little on Ian’s arm and Ian came out of his daze, pulling away from him shaking his head.   
  
“But, I’m giving the buff guy over here some tips. ‘Simportant. Gotta make sure Mickey comes properly, he’s fucking in a _bed_ now Lip.”   
  
Mickey watched as Lip eyed his brother warily and then sighed deeply. Mickey then took a quick glance at the boyfriend who now had his arms crossed and was glaring at Mickey with pure hatred in his eyes, Mickey might be small but he was not going to be intimidated by this wanker so he sneered back at the man. He had forgotten that Derek was behind him until he felt Derek place his arm around his shoulders and start to guide him away from the group, forcing him to break his staring contest with the meathead in front of him.  
  
“C’mon Mickey Blue, just walk away” Derek whispered in his ear, he had obviously been paying attention to the pissing contest the two men were having whilst Lip was trying to talk some sense into Ian.  
  
Mickey jumped as he felt strong hands come up from behind him, one gripping harshly at his hips as the guy holding him yelled over his shoulder. Mickey had thought that Ian had been preoccupied by Lip and had forgotten they were there, obviously not because he had a ginger giant firmly attached to him halting him from moving.  
  
“Don’t fucking touch him!!” Ian yelled out to Derek as he flung Derek’s hand from around Mickey’s neck and replaced it with his own firm grip. Derek looked at Ian like he had lost his marbles, Mickey couldn’t help but feel like maybe he had. The pressure of Ian’s fingers on him was almost bruising, he could barely breath.   
  
“Jesus Ian… Get off me!” He managed to gasp out as he began to fling his body around trying to shake Ian off of him to no avail. Everyone was just looking at the two of them in shock but the boyfriend, _he_ was staring at Mickey still and then he finally spoke, his voice was loud and venomous the gentle voice he used with Ian previously, seemed to have completely vanished now that he was directing his words at Mickey.  
  
“So **this** is _fucking_ Mickey???” he said to no one in particular, it did something to Ian though because he felt Ian tense up behind him and heard his breath catch in his chest for a brief moment before his arms finally loosened their hold on him, still holding Mickey in place though. A subdued ‘fuck’ escaped Ian’s lips, hitting the back of Mickey’s head in a huff of hot breath.   
  
“Yeah, what’s it the fuck to you?” Mickey snarled at the man, he was looking at Mickey like he was a piece of dog shit he had stepped on that was stuck to his shoe. Derek tensed up and moved closer to Mickey, causing Ian to tense up again and Mickey didn’t know who was gonna start swinging first. The boyfriend at Mickey, or Ian at Derek.   
  
It was the boyfriend.   
  
Mickey was too preoccupied with what was going on with Ian and Derek that he didn’t see the boyfriend swing at him and the next thing he knew he was on the floor and there’s a scurry of feet and fists and bodies everywhere. Derek swung back at the boyfriend and the two of them are fighting it out, Lips trying to pull Derek off and Derek just decks him and continues fighting the boyfriend and Carls… probably masturbating in the corner over the whole thing to be honest.  
  
The only thing he’s sure of right now is that Ian’s all over him where he’s lying on the ground. His hands are cradling Mickey’s face as blood pours out of his nose.   
  
“Shit Mick, you okay?” he says to him, like a fucking idiot. Of course he isn’t okay, that fucker probably just broke his nose.  
  
“Get off me, get your boyfriend and just fuck off Ian” Mickey tells him, pushing Ian’s hands away from him just to have them come straight back at his face.  
  
“Your fucking nose Mickey” Ian pulls him up so they’re sitting on the floor and goes to fucking hug him. He’s paying no attention to the fighting that’s going around them, but Mickey can see it playing out because he refuses to look at Ian.   
  
Derek has the boyfriend in a headlock, his face turning red and Mickey knows that he’s only seconds away from losing consciousness. Derek’s profession is basically fighting, so the guy had no chance of winning. Kev’s holding Lip back and Carl has come up behind Ian and is trying to get Ian off of him, _finally_ , but Ian keeps shaking him off. Mickey’s had enough.  
  
He’s had enough of this bullshit fight and he sure as shit has had enough of Ian Gallagher all over him.   
  
“Seriously fuck off!! Just go Ian, GO!! LEAVE ME ALONE FOR FUCKSAKE!!!”   
  
He’s never screamed this loud in his life, his throat is instantly dry and sore, but it’s worth it because it has the desired effect. Ian’s off of him in a second, with Carl behind him helping him up and somehow the fight has just stopped.   
  
Derek drops the semi-conscious boyfriend on the floor in a limp heap and heads straight over to Mickey, pulling him up off the ground and pinching his nose to try and stop the bleeding. Mickey’s eyes are stuck on Ian, who’s looking around at the mess everyone’s in and clearly realising that he caused it as he starts mumbling apologies to anyone and everyone. Mickey strps back from Derek and dusts himself off as Carl let’s go of Ian.   
  
His boyfriend tries to take him by the arm and Ian shrugs him off, eyes now locked on Mickey’s, his body unmoving from the spot. Both Lip and the boyfriend are trying to persuade him to leave, without touching him because that just seems to piss him off, but he won’t leave and Mickey wants to scream at him, ask him what the _fuck_ he wants from him. But he doesn’t. He approaches Ian carefully, as if he’s a dangerous animal that will bite at any sudden movement.   
  
“You should go home Ian” he says gently but firmly, he ignores everyone around them and just stares at Ian’s solemn expression. Ian bites his lip and shakily speaks, his voice sounding wet and coming out just a bit louder than a whisper.   
  
“Monica came back”   
  
Watching Ian’s face and seeing the fear that envelopes him the moment he speaks his mother’s name, breaks Mickey’s heart. He forgets all about his anger towards Ian, the fighting that just happened even though his nose is still dripping blood that falls into his mouth whenever he speaks or breathes.  
  
“I know” he replies gently, taking another step towards Ian, they’re less than a foot apart and he can see the tears forming in Ian’s eyes. Ian lets a tear fall and quickly brushes it away, thankfully because Mickey’s hand had started moving upwards to do it without his permission.   
  
“I’m fucking scared Mick, she makes me…”   
  
Ian stops speaking and runs his hand down his face and Mickey bites back the urge to bring him into his chest and hug him. He places both of his hands on Ian’s shoulders and Ian drops his hands away from his face the moment he feels the contact and looks deeply into Mickey’s eyes. Mickey swallows hard, Ian looks like a small lost child right now, the way his mother’s presence affects him is so painful to watch. Out of the corner of his eye he registers movement coming up to stand beside Ian, it’s Lip, but Mickey just ignore it and stares at Ian.  
  
“I know Ian but you’re gonna be okay. You’ve been doing so fucking well. Don’t let that bitch come here and fuck all your shit up again. Just avoid her till she leaves. She _always_ leaves Ian, you know this, you’ll be fine” He says it calmly and confidently hoping that it’s enough to reassure Ian.  
  
“I can’t go home, she’ll be there” Ian whispers out, fear bright and present in his eyes.  
  
“You’re staying at Caleb’s Ian, You don’t really go home anymore so it won’t be a big deal man. I’ll get anything you need from there and bring it around if you want, we’ll let you know when she leaves. I told you, we got this, c’mon man, let’s get out of here”   
  
Lips voice comes out just as softly as his own, he’s surprised Ian hasn’t snapped at either of them for treating him like a child, which they kind of both are right now. But he must be that terrified that he just doesn’t care, or he just can’t see past his fear of his mother to acknowledge it. Mickey catches Lip’s eye, and Lip nods at him slightly. All anger that both Mickey and Lip feel towards each other is put on hold for now, as they both try to calm Ian down.   
  
“See, you got your douchebag brother looking out for you, everything’s going to be fine.”   
  
Mickey doesn’t bother to mention that he has his boyfriend too, _Caleb_. He’s trying to ignore it and just focus on getting Ian to calm down and leave. He smiles at Ian and drops his hands from Ian’s shoulders. Ian doesn’t return the smile and shakes his head at Mickey, ignoring Lip completely. He moves forward at the loss of contact and runs his fingers down Mickey’s arm, Mickey can tell that he isn’t even registering what he’s doing, it’s like he needs to touch Mickey so he just does it. Mickey feels it though, as if a trail of heat has been left behind. Ian’s fingers stop at his wrist and he gently squeezes it. His thumb rubbing soothing circles on the pale skin, Mickey can feel his pulse racing right there into Ian’s fingertips.  
  
“She fucks with my head, I look at her and I just see this fucking mess, I see _me_ , everything that I’m scared of… and at the same time, I wanna be free like her. I… I want no meds and there stupid side effects. I want to _feel_ things like I used to! More than anything I want my old life back, I want _me_ back, Mickey… I want…”   
  
Ian’s face screws up and he clenches his eyes shut, he lets Mickey’s hand fall and stops talking. He’s been crying since half way through what he just said, and Mickey hates the fact that every time he has seen him lately, Ian’s always crying. He feels like it’s his entire fault somehow, he wonders if Ian cries all the time now or if it’s just around him, because of him?   
  
He pushes his own emotions down and focuses on getting Ian to stop crying. Lip’s hovering behind his brother, he looks pained at what Ian’s saying, how his little brother feels about himself. It's almost as if this is the first time he's heard Ian say this, he's said it to Mickey before though, surely he'd tell his family too?  
  
“Do I gotta beat some sense into you? You’re _not_ fucking Monica. Unless you go off your meds and fuck off to the middle of whoopwoop, you aint her. You’ve come so far, you got this, alright tough guy? No meds equals Ian stealing babies and bare backing in a porno, _Not_ taking your meds is _not_ the option.”   
  
He manages to get a smile and a small chuckle out of the redhead, which makes him tingle inside that he can make that happen. Lip chuckles beside his brother and smiles at Mickey, which pulls Mickey out of the moment and he straightens himself up, pulling the smile off of his own face. Caleb seems to have finally regained movement and walks up towards them, still looking angry and Mickey’s just fucking too exhausted for this shit to continue. He looks back at Ian who is looking over at Caleb now too, following Mickey’s line of sight. Once Ian looks back at him, Ian seems to have pulled himself together a little more and looks just as exhausted as Mickey feels. Before Caleb reaches them Mickey figures he’ll end this conversation and get the fuck out of here.  
  
“I gotta go, look. Ummm… If shit gets real hard or whatever, call Debs, she can get a hold of me. Alright?”   
  
Ian looks confused, obviously remembering that a day ago he told him that they couldn’t be friends and now he’s offering his shoulder to cry on or whatever. He _did_ mean what he said yesterday, but seeing Ian like this is worrying and he feels himself slightly back peddling on his initial feelings. He wants to be there for him, he doesn’t want this thing with his mother to trigger something and if he can stop it in anyway, he will.   
  
He tries to tell himself that he’s doing it for Debbie, Carl, Liam and even Fiona and Lip. But he knows that they’re not the only ones he want to do it for, he wants to do it for Ian. He wants to help him.  
  
“You sure? I thought you didn’t want to be friends” Ian asks quietly.  
  
Mickey hesitated slightly, almost changing his mind. He chances a quick glance at Lip, who looks confused as fuck. Maybe he didn’t know about what happened at the Twins’ party between Ian and Mickey. Mickey’s starting to think that Lip’s been pretty out of the loop regarding most things that have happened lately.   
  
“I don’t, I didn’t… I _don’t_ know man, but I know that I don’t want you losing your shit over this and if you need me, If I _can_ help, I will. You should go now, don’t want Tarzan swinging on me again, I think the fucker broke my nose”   
  
He brought his hand up to his nose and winced, it was definitely broken. Ian winced too, his eyes lingering on the bloody mess that was probably covering the lower half of his face by now.   
  
“Shit. I’m sorry Mickey, I was an idiot and I acted like a dick to your boyfriend and Caleb shouldn’t have hit you”   
  
Ian turned around and glared at his boyfriend as he finally approached the pair. Mickey didn’t bother correcting Ian when he referred to Derek as his boyfriend. He just shrugged and smirked up at the redhead.   
  
“S’all good, had worse injuries over your ass in the past Gallagher, got two bullet wounds to prove it”   
  
He hoped that Ian would find that amusing, from the look of guilt that crossed Ian’s face, he didn’t.  
  
"You're always getting hurt because of me, even when we're not together."  
  
Mickey didn't know what to say about that at all, They both just stood there looking at each other until Ian finally sighed deeply, nodded at Mickey briefly, before turning around and walking past Lip and Caleb, making his way out the side exit alone.   
  
Lip looked over at Mickey and shrugged before he followed his brother out the door. Mickey didn’t bother to acknowledge Caleb, he just turned and faced Derek who was now leaning on the bar with a drink and a wet cloth in his hand. Mickey made his way over and Derek handed him the cloth and a shot of whiskey.  
  
“So you wanna fill me in on what the fuck _that_ was all about?” He asked him after Mickey had his shot and had wiped most of the drying blood off of his face. Mickey shook his head and motioned for Kev to get them another round by tapping on the bar.  
  
“Can we get _really_ fucking drunk first? It’s kind of been a fucking rough day if you haven’t noticed” Mickey replied as he downed the shot Kev had just poured him. Derek looked like he was about to say something, but then his eyes drifted behind Mickey and his jaw clenched. Mickey spun around readying himself for another fight until he saw Carl standing there with his hands in his pockets looking at Mickey sheepishly.  
  
“Can I hang with you for a bit? Don’t really wanna go home”   
  
Mickey just nodded and patted the empty stool beside him. Carl visibly relaxed and plonked himself down on the stool. They all sat there in silence for a bit, Derek kept looking at Mickey clearly wanting an answer to what the fuck had happened today. Carl was just staring at the bar solemnly and Mickey was trying to drink away the ache in his nose and the look on Ian’s face when he talked about being like Monica. Finally Carl broke the silence.   
  
“Told you Ian was an asshole” He mumbled out, eyes still stuck on the bar as he swung his feet back and forth, a loud thump echoing through the silence when Carl’s foot would bang into the base of the bar every so often.  
  
“He’s having a rough time man” Mickey said, he side eyed the kid and watched as Carl tensed up, clenching his jaw and turned towards Mickey with so much anger   
  
“Don’t make excuses for him! It aint easy on _any_ of us when Monica’s back. No reason for him to flip out like that.”   
  
“Yeah well, he’s fucking terrified of her because he thinks _he_ is her. It’s harder on him now than it used to be, now that he’s more like her than ever. You’re right though, he acted like an asshole, but I can take it kid... What about you? You alright?”   
  
Mickey turned around to properly face Carl, he slid over the last half of his beer to Carl, the boy eyed him suspiciously but took the drink anyway and downed it in one go.  
  
“Yeah Mickey, i'm fine man”   
  
Mickey ordered another round, even got one for Carl. He knew the kid drank, what southsider didn’t at his age and after the day he had clearly had, Mickey didn’t think it would hurt. Derek left after a little while, Mickey and Carl hadn’t been much in the mood for conversation and Derek must’ve felt like a third wheel so he left telling Mickey he’d see him next week at work, or he could call him if he wanted to catch up sooner.   
  
Carl had perked up a little towards the end of the night, as the alcohol dampened down the anger in him, and Mickey had offered for him to crash at his house. They heated up a frozen pizza, played the X-box and drank a few more beers before Carl passed out on the couch and Mickey made his way to bed.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
By the time Wednesday had rolled around, Carl had basically all but made himself part of the furniture in the Milkovich house. When Mickey had woken up hangover Monday afternoon, Carl had obviously been up earlier and had gone home and grabbed a backpack full of stuff before coming back here and hiding it under a blanket that was on the couch. It wasn’t a very good hiding place, Mickey had spotted it immediately but didn’t say anything. He just left and went out to meet Svetlana and Yev at the park, leaving Carl at his place, taking the key to the gun cabinet with him because he wasn’t fucking stupid.  
  
Carl slept on the couch again that night, and Mickey went to work on Tuesday with Carl still asleep. When he got back, Carl was chilling with his girlfriend on the couch. Mickey sighed but didn’t say anything he just made himself dinner and left Carl to his own devices. He was letting the kid crash without an invitation, if he wanted food or anything else the fucker could do it himself.  
  
But now it was Wednesday and Carl was still here without a single word being said about it. Mickey grabbed a beer for the both of them and sat down with him on the couch.  
  
“Look man, you wanna stay here it’s fine with me but I got a few rules alright?”   
  
Wow, he sounded like an adult, enough so that Carl sat up straight and gave him his full attention. Mickey felt awkward as fuck, but he wanted to make sure that if Carl was going to be here he was going to be looked after.  
  
“Your family has to know you’re here 'cause like fuck I want Doe eyes on my ass saying I stole you or some shit and you gotta keep going to school and get yourself a job or somethin’ to help pay your way. I don’t want a freeloader round here all right?”   
  
Holy shit, not only did he sound like an adult, but he sounded like a _responsible_ one. He wanted Carl to get a job not so much because Mickey needed the money, but he just thought that it might get his lazy ass up, keep him out of trouble and he'd be doing something besides wallowing in his own pity and filth. Jesus, this must have been what Debbie thought seeing him a few months ago in a similar position on the _exact_ same couch.   
  
“Sure thing, I can probably get my old job back pushing some merchandise…”   
  
“No. A legit job, no criminal shit in this house no more. If I can turn over a new leaf, you can too buddy”   
  
No way in hell did he wants the Gallagher’s down his throat when Carl gets busted a second time selling drugs, especially whilst living under his roof. It would end up being his fault no doubt.  
  
“The fuck kind of job am I gonna be able to get? I’ve been to Juvie man, and people all think I’m a fucking psycho around here, nobody’s gonna hire me”   
  
Mickey almost laughs at him, because it was almost the exact thing he said to Debbie when she told _him_ to get a legit job. Jesus, Carl really was a fuck load like him in so many ways. He held the laugh back, but still smiled at Carl who had a sour expression on his face the whole time.   
  
“I thought the same thing, but I’m working two fucking legit jobs now. Like I said if I can do it, you can too. Have a look online and see if there’s any after school hours jobs, maybe go see Linda and bat your eyelashes at the old bag. She has a soft spot for you Gallagher's”   
  
He handed his laptop over to Carl and then stood there for a few minutes thinking  
  
“If you’re gonna be here for a while longer you might as well move upstairs into one of my brothers rooms, take your pick aint like any of them are gonna be out any time soon to claim ‘em back”   
  
Carl beamed up at him as if getting one of the shitty Milkovich brothers rooms was like a fucking four star hotel room. Jesus. This kid was more easily pleased than Yev was. Carl ran straight past him to probably go suss out which room was the best, leaving Mickey to have his living room to himself for the first time in three days. He finally settled in when his phone went off.   
  
**Debs:** _Ian asked 4 ur no. do I give it 2 him orrrr…._   
  
Fuck. He did tell Ian he could get a hold of him if something was wrong, but he didn’t want him to have his number. Shit, he was starting to regret the offer now that the moment had passed. Ian had looked so messed up at the time and he had been acting so irrational that it had freaked Mickey out.   
  
**Mickey** : _I said if any bad shit happens with ur mom 2 get u 2 call me if he needed, I don’t want him 2 have my nmbr, he’ll just send me stupid fuckn pictures of the sunrise anyways and I’ll have 2 wring his fuckn neck  
  
_ **Debs:** _Oookay… he promised he’ll only use it if he freaks out, no sunrises or winky faced texts_   
  
He hates those stupid emoji things, Ian used to send them at the end of every fucking text. There were a few text’s he had gotten back in the day from Ian that were nothing but little weird ass pictures. Like that purple thing, Ian said it was meant to resemble a dick and Mickey told him if he thoughts dicks were supposed to look that swollen and purple, he was fucking guys with serious STD’s. Mickey chuckled at the reminder of the memory and began typing back to her.  
  
**Mickey:** _Tell him I don’t want any pic msg’s at 3 in the morning of his hard on, shit’ll give me nightmares... I don’t want him to have my number debs, pls._   
  
**Debs:** _he says you’re a fucking liar, you asked for those pic msg’s and they gave you wet dreams not nightmares… can I just give him the no. so you guys can just text each other, this shit’s gonna give **me** nightmares_   
  
**Mickey:** _I’m serious Debs, I don’t want him having it, if shit gets bad with him, u can call me. I can’t get into this with him again._   
  
He put his phone down as Carl came back down the stairs to grab his ‘hidden’ backpack and the other bits and pieces he had been slowly moving into the Milkovich house every day since he slept here. Mickey put the T.V on and checked his phone for a reply from Debbie after his phone alerted him to a new message.  
  
**Debs:** _Yeah, he says ok… Did Caleb hit you? And do you have a boyfriend????_   
  
**Mickey** : _Who the fuck is telling u this shit?_  
  
**Debs:** _Ian and I are at Fi’s Diner, Ian’s filling me on what he remembers about the bar fight thing. Ian say’s he acted like a dick, and that Caleb acted like a dick. And you weren’t being a dick. I’m kinda proud of you Mickey! Also, Fyi… Ian and Caleb are fighting._   
  
Mickey was a little pissed that they were surprised that Mickey hadn’t been the one to throw punches, and a little proud at that fact too. It had taken a lot of fucking restraint not to smash Lip, Ian and especially that fucking asshole Caleb, in their annoying little faces. He read the last line of her message twice, Ian was fighting with his boyfriend?   
  
**Mickey:** _heard about monica and didn’t want to start shit. Really fucking wanted to punch them all though. Y r they fighting?  
  
_ **Debs:** _Duh… coz of u! Ian mad Caleb hit u. Caleb mad Ian came up 2 u at the bar and went all crazy jealous over your bf (Ian’s actual words btw)_   
  
Interesting. Ian was defending Mickey which shouldn’t make him feel all warm inside, but it did. Caleb was mad at Ian, because Ian had acted like a jealous ex towards Derek and that had been puzzling Mickey ever since that day. Ian had ended things with Mickey two years ago now, he had a new boyfriend and everything, but if he was really over Mickey why the hell did he get so fucking possessive that day? He sighed and thought about what to write back, knowing that Ian was there and Debbie must be relaying his messages, well she had been by the sounds of it anyway.  
  
**Mickey:** _Not my bf. He still staying at the meatheads? He ok w/ evrythg?_   
  
The last thing Ian needed right now was to have to go back to his house with his mom living there because he was fighting with his boyfriend, that would most definitely set Ian off on a bender or a downward spiral at the least. Shit, he was worrying too much about Ian again, he’s supposed to be mad at him, and he’s supposed to have stopped caring by now. If there was a switch you could turn to stop all this emotional shit from clogging up your mind, Mickey fucking wanted one to turn his Ian Gallagher receptors the fuck off. His phone vibrated and he quickly opened the new message   
  
**Debs:** _yeah he is, Monica’s still round so he doesn't really have a choice. He seems ok I think. Can tell he’s kinda faking it tho. Monica should be gone soon hopefully. Her meth dealer bf broke up with her, thats why she's bk_   
  
**Mickey:** _how long she usually round 4?_   
  
**Debs** : _dunno, cld be another week, month, even a year_   
  
A fucking year? Holy shit. Mickey started biting at his finger nails, thinking that information over. Carl thumped down the stairs and sat on the other couch and Mickey looked over at him. This shit had done a number on Carl already and the bitch hadn’t even been here for a week. How would they all survive if she was here for a fucking year? He looked at Debbie’s name on his phone and felt a pang of guilt run through him. He hadn’t even asked her if she was alright with all this Monica shit. He had no idea if her mom being home had any effect on her. He’s allowed Carl to stay, but hadn’t offered Debbie any support and she had been the one to support him, ever since that day she showed up at his door step. He was a fucking shitty friend.   
  
**Mickey** : _Look, if u need a place to crash, I got a lot of room now. Also I dunno if u know, but Carl’s stayin here_.   
  
**Debs:** _Nah, we thought he was at his gf. I’ll let the others know. Aww look at you, inviting two Gallagher’s to live with you, you’re such a sweetheart Mickey Milkovich :) :) :)  
  
_ **Mickey:** _I take it back, fkn smiley face bullshit!!_   
  
**Debs:** _I think this is the longest convo we’ve ever had. Also, this is probably the nicest you’ve ever been, besides the last msg_  
  
 **Mickey** : _rather text than talk to ur ugly face. Plus my msg tone is less annoying than your voice._   
  
Carl clears his throat and Mickey looks up at him over his phone as he sends his message off to Debbie.  
  
“You think you could come with me to.. umm.. get the rest of my shit. I don’t think anyone’s home but… Monica might be... and, I just…”   
  
Mickey can see how hard it is for Carl to ask for help, he’s struggling to get his words out and Mickey hates the awkwardness so he just cuts him off.  
  
“Sure thing man, lemme chuck a jacket on and we can head off”  
  
Carl relaxes in his seat, glad to avoid the rest of the conversation and just nods in agreement with Mickey. Mickey gets up and replies to Debbie as he makes his way to his room to put warmer clothes on.   
  
**Mickey:** _but srs, if u need me 4 anything, call me k_   
  
**Debs:** I will.BFF’s :) :) :)  
  
 **Mickey:** _I fkn hate you I swear to fkn god_   
  
“Let’s go and get your shit” He says to Carl when he gets back into the living room, putting his phone in his pocket. He wants to get in and out of that house as quickly as possible, too many memories in that place for him. Carl nods happily as they both leave the house and begin their walk side by side in silence.  
  
  



	6. Lip and Caleb's Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna be a rough chapter guys.... Mickey takes a blow but i promise, it's all about to turn around for our lovely southside thug after this!! Check the end notes for a little clue as to what the next chapter will be about, i promise it's gonna be eye opening!!

It didn’t take long, three days later and Debbie was on his door step with Franny and a few bags of clothes and an awkward smile. He moved them into one of the spare rooms upstairs, next to the room Carl had picked out just a week earlier. Carl dubbed the top floor of Mickey’s house as ' _The Gallagher Crib'_ when they were moving Franny’s crib in to Debbie's new room, Carl found it hilarious, Debbie and Mickey both just rolled their eyes at him.  
  
They didn’t really talk about the fact as to _why_ they were all living here now, they just settled into their own normal rhythm easily.  
  
Carl was a relatively quiet person surprisingly; he wasn’t there that much he just flitted in and out between school, his girlfriend’s house and his new job cleaning between sessions at the local movie theatre.   
  
Debbie stayed at home doing her school work, looking after Franny and making the house more comfortable by adding her own sense of flair to the place, keeping it tidy and making a stupid chores roster that Mickey barely sticks to.   
  
Mickey was busy working, looking after Yev and occasionally hanging out with Derek.   
  
The house instantly felt like a real home to them all.  
  
Mickey was enjoying living with other people again, he hadn’t realised how much he had hated living alone until he found himself really enjoying his evenings playing video games with Carl whilst Debbie cooked them dinner and rambled on. The smile that was constantly plastered on his face was a big change, life was good for him and his new housemates.  
  
The worries of Monica had pretty much faded away as the two younger Gallagher’s made his house their own, even though she was still present in the Gallagher house. A month passed by with only Carl bumping into her once when he was out with his girlfriend, other than that she hadn’t tried to see them. Fiona popped in once a week, complaining about her and how much she hated being stuck in that house without any of her siblings. According to her, Monica had no idea where the kids all were and seemed to not care, she had started to be turn the house into her own, moving things around and inviting random people to stay all the time. Fiona was terrified that Monica was moving in permanently and that her and Liam would have to move out.   
  
Ian wasn’t around at all, not to Mickey’s knowledge anyway. Debbie had said that the last she saw of him was the day she had been texting Mickey, when her and Ian were eating at the diner Fiona worked out. After that, Ian just stayed away, didn’t call or text any of his sibling unless they made first contact, he’d either be short on the phone with them or reply with a one worded text. Debbie didn’t seem too worried about it, Mickey tried to find out why but all Debbie told him was that Lip was handling the Ian situation and keeping close tabs on him. Mickey didn’t bring Ian up again after that, nor did anyone else.   
  
Towards the last two weeks, Fiona started coming around more frequently, Monica was showing no signs of leaving any time soon and Fiona was at her wits end trying to cope with having her around. So it’s wasn’t too much of a shock when he walks into his house after a long day of work to find the whole Gallagher clan around his kitchen table, minus Ian thankfully.   
  
“Family meeting?” He asks as he makes his way to the fridge, hip checking Carl as he walks past. Carl stumbles and laughs then shoves him hard into the door of the fridge which makes Debbie roll her eyes and chuckle. He catches Lip’s eye on the way back, Lip’s watching him warily, he just ignores the asshole.  
  
“Sorry to intrude again Mickey, we’re just making a plan of action to get rid of Monica. I want my fucking house back.” Fiona said, her hair was unkempt and her eyes looked more tired than usual.   
  
Mickey clucks his tongue and looks over at Debbie. Although he feels bad about the situation all the Gallagher’s are in at the moment, he’s kind of been enjoying having somewhat of a full house again and although he wants Monica gone for the sake of everyone’s sanity, he doesn’t want either of the Gallagher’s to move out when she does leave. He doesn’t want to voice his issues about it though, he doesn't want to sound needy in front of them all so he just shrugs at Fiona.  
  
“Well, I’ll leave you all to your scheming then, gonna jump in the shower if Carl hasn’t used up all the fucking hot water this time”   
  
He moves past them all into his room to grab some clean clothes to change into but he’s barely just closed his bedroom door before he hears it squeak back open again and he turns around to see Lip standing awkwardly in his doorway.  
  
“Can I have a word Mickey?”   
  
Mickey just scoffs at him and moves towards his dresser, rummaging through his drawers for something clean to change into, ignoring Lip in the hopes he’ll just leave. Lip doesn’t bother with leaving though, of course he doesn’t.  
  
“The day Monica came back, When we were at the alibi… the way you handled Ian… Thanks for all that”   
  
Mickey stops rifling through his drawers and looks at Lip a little bewildered. _Did that fucker just thank him?_ Before Mickey can speak, Lip continues.  
  
“And the shit I said to you at the club, I was outta line. I had the wrong end of the stick, so to speak. Ian had been acting shifty for a while and… after his breakdown and all that, I just thought that maybe you two were involved again or something, and I… I jumped to fucking conclusions alright. I’m an asshole sometimes, but you gotta understand … I’m just worried about my brother man. “   
  
Mickey nods, agreeing that Lip _is_ an asshole more so than whatever else he just said. Lip starts pacing in front of him anxiously, Mickey just watches him, kind of enjoying seeing Lip in this state, he usually seems so calm and collected and it’s nice to see that smug expression completely void from his face for once.  
  
“I thought he was doing alright all this time, but now I’m starting to think he was just hiding his real feelings and shit. He shut us all out after he got back on the meds and sorted himself out and we just let him because we thought this was him moving forward you know? Like a step up for him or something. He got himself this new job, as an EMT and started hanging out with these classy Northsiders, found himself a new boyfriend and I thought he was happy, _finally_ , that he had found himself a decent life, finally got a break you know?”   
  
He’s a little hurt at the sentiment that Ian was finally happy with his new life, like he _wasn’t_ when he was with Mickey or something? He can tell for once that Lip isn’t actually trying to take a hit at him with what he just said though, Lips pacing and running his hands through the mop of messy curls on top of his head, but he looks uneasy, worried even. He keeps glancing over at Mickey as he speaks, Mickey can’t do much else but manage a nod here and there as he tries to take in everything that Lip is saying.  
  
“But I’ve been dropping by Caleb’s place a lot lately. At first it was just to check up on Ian, making sure he’s doing okay with the whole Monica thing. But, It made me look at him, like… _really_ look at him and I don’t like what I see, and it’s not even about the whole Monica thing, I think I’m finally realising that somethings been up for a while now, I just wasn’t paying attention before”   
  
Mickey feels goose bumps run along his skin. _What has Lip noticed?_   
  
“So I started dropping around more, really watching him and paying attention this time. The guy he is around all these new people he hangs with, just isn’t Ian. I don’t mean that he’s grown up and matured and all that, it’s not that at all. He just… I don’t see my brother at all. It’s like he’s a completely different person. I’ve known Ian his whole god damned life, I’d like to think that I’d know when Ian’s faking shit, this whole new life he’s created Mickey, he’s faking it. I _know_ it. He’s not happy with this whole new persona he’s created, he just seems… off. I think it’s all getting to him too, I think he’s starting to lose it man.”   
  
Mickey doesn’t really know what to say here, Lips stopped pacing, lighting a cigarette and looking over at Mickey expectantly. The things Lip’s saying about Ian resonates with him. Carl, Debbie and Fiona have all said similar things over the last six months about Ian. He hasn’t been around Ian enough to see it for himself, but he doesn’t doubt his family. They’ve always been thick as thieves; they’ve known Ian his entire life, so they would know if he was acting strangely or if he was unhappy. Yeah, they’ve let Ian and his feeling slip from time to time, but when they’re paying attention, they’d notice in an instant. Mickey’s mulling all this over, whilst Lip smokes, still staring at him.   
  
“I’m not asking you to help him or anything, I just wanted you to know that I’m sorry for all that shit I said, I’ve taken a better look at this whole situation and I know I was wrong. Ian’s not doing better with this new life, and you’re not a threat to his happiness, like I thought you were. _He_ is. He’s ruining himself slowly. I’m worried he’s gonna crack soon. He can’t keep up this whole charade and I just…. It’s not your fault like I thought it was. I’m sorry, I guess that was what I really wanted to say to you. I just wanted you to know, _I’m sorry_ ”   
  
Mickey would usually rub this apology in Lip’s face, but he’s still stuck thinking over Lips worries over Ian. He walks over to his bedside table, goes into the bottom drawer and pulls the letter out that Ian had written him. He walks over to Lip and shakes the letter at him, debating over if what he’s about to do is the right thing or not.   
  
“He gave Deb’s this to give to me, I read it and it made fuck all sense to me. Maybe if you read it, it might give you some answers to what the fuck is going on with him. I dunno if the letter will even help, it didn’t help me that’s for fucking sure, but maybe you’ll find something in there that will trigger something in your genius brain that’ll help you figure out what’s up with him. It might not, but I figure it won’t hurt”   
  
He makes a move to hand it over, Lip grabs it but Mickey doesn’t let go. He glares at Lip and sneers a little at him.   
  
“Just…I don’t want you reading that and then using stuff in there against me, get what I mean? I give you this, you read it, do what you gotta do to help Ian, but we don’t bring this shit up again, you _got_ me?”   
  
Lip nods so Mickey reluctantly let’s go of it and watches as Lip takes a seat on his bed and starts reading. Mickey’s too embarrassed to sit there whilst Lip reads it, so he heads off to have his shower, leaving Lip alone. When he comes back in the room still wet from his hasty shower, Lip’s flipping back and forth, re reading some paragraphs and sentences and Mickey feels nerves start to overtake him. Has he found something? Lip doesn’t look up when he starts to speak to Mickey, his eyes are still lingering over certain parts of the letter, Mickey’s almost tempted to give him a fucking highlighter to mark the important parts down.  
  
‘I dunno if I’m reading this right, but I think he’s trying to create a completely new Ian, what he thinks society and his peers will perceive as a _better_ Ian. He’s always had such a fucking hero complex, now his job’s literally saving lives. _Jesus._ It makes sense a little bit more now. He’s pushed all the people that have known him before he was bipolar away, anyone that knows what he did when he was manic, or the kid he was growing up, he doesn’t talk to or associate with anymore. I wonder if any of his new friends even know that he’s bipolar. I think he’s really fucking ashamed about what he did back then.”   
  
Lip’s ideas seem possible, Ian always had such pride about joining the army and helping his country, all that patriotic bullshit he believed in so hard when he was younger. Mickey feels a pang of guilt, he was partially to blame for that dream shattering for Ian. Ian always had big dreams of being someone important, making his family proud and being able to get out of the southside. Being diagnosed as bipolar ruined all of the plans and dreams Ian had, it would make sense for him to try and create new dreams and plans. All in all, it doesn’t sound like a bad idea, it’s something that Ian should do and has done, but he doesn’t need to push the people away that have cared about him before all his old dreams broke into a million pieces. Why is he doing that if it’s making him and his family miserable? He doesn’t voice his opinions on that topic, he found something more worrying in Lip’s little speech, that has him thinking about Ian’s health.   
  
“Does his new boyfriend know about the bipolar shit?”   
  
Lip nods, finally handing the letter back over to Mickey. He quickly shoves it back in the drawer, he instantly feels relief having that letter back in its place, hidden away, out of sight and out of mind.   
  
“Yeah… I don’t know how much he knows, I just know that he’s aware that Ian’s bipolar and on medication”   
  
Mickey nods at him and lights up a smoke, he takes a few drags and then hands it to Lip. It feels oddly familiar to do this, sit in his room and share a cigarette with a Gallagher, it’s just not the _right_ Gallagher.   
  
“I guess he’s distanced himself as much as possible from all of us, his whole family, because he thinks he’s let us all down, disappointed us all. I’m including you in that group, _family_. I think that’s how Ian still sees you anyway”   
  
Family, Ian _was_ part of his little family once. Mickey, Mandy, Yevgeny, Svetlana, her weird Russian girlfriend and Ian. He rubs at his eyes, hiding the tears that threaten to fall at the thought of him and Ian being a family. It feels like such a long time ago, but the memories linger as if it was yesterday at the mere mention of that word. He can see Lip glancing at him, he looks like he wants to say something but he’s struggling to find the words. Lip runs a hand down his face and then shuffles on the bed a little before he finally speaks.   
  
“He might not have said it outright in the letter but, he loved you Mickey, I think he still might be in love with you. If you want my take on the whole thing… I think he pushed you away because being with you reminds him of his past and because he thinks you’re in love with who he _was_ not who he now  _is_. He doesn’t want to weigh you down with all his bullshit, he doesn’t want you to look at him like he’s going to break at any second… “   
  
He ignores the leap he feels in his chest from hearing Lip say that Ian loved him, and still might. He doesn’t know what to say, he's scared that if he does speak his voice will crack with emotion and he hates sounding weak, especially in front of someone like Lip, so he just stays silent.   
  
Lip isn’t looking at him which he’s grateful for, he can only imagine the expression on his own face right now. He feels hurt and devastated that Ian possibly thinks like that.  
  
“Look, I could be completely wrong about all of this, but it just makes more sense to me than any other idea I’ve had. “ Lip says, breaking the silence, and then hands the almost finished cigarette back to Mickey, Mickey takes the last drag and then butts it out in an empty beer can. He’s done with all of this Ian talk, he needs time to think it all over, figure out what to do with Lip’s theory, if he even does decide to do anything at all.  
  
“What’re you gonna do about it?” he finally asks. He looks at Lip who runs his hand down his face, he looks exhausted. Carl’s voice yelling at someone breaks the silence in the bedroom as both of the boys are pondering on that question. Lip’s eyes watch the door for a minute and then he makes the move to get up off of the bed.   
  
“I dunno, I gotta help Fi with her Monica infestation first and then I’ll get on to the Ian thing, I might need your help with it, you alright with that?”   
  
Lip looks at him questionably as he waits for an answer whilst he hovers by the door. It looks like Mickey’s elbow deep in Gallagher shit again, he might as well plunge all the way in, right?   
  
“Yeah, I’ll help”   
  
Lip smiles at him as they both walk out of the room and head to where all the noise is coming from in the kitchen. There’s two new faces in the kitchen, Ian and his boyfriend.  
  
Mickey is fucking furious. He doesn’t mind that all the Gallagher’s are here, but for Ian to bring his boyfriend, that’s just a giant slap to the face. Ian looks between Lip and Mickey in confusion, probably because they just walked out of Mickey’s room together. His eyes linger on Mickey, his hair is still damp from his shower, water running onto his collar and Ian’s eyes follow the movement and then he turns his attention back to his brother and frowns at him. Everyone is silent for a moment or two, Mickey can feel all the eyes of the Gallagher’s flitting between him and Ian. He ignores them and just glares at Ian. Finally Ian brings his attention away from Lip and on to Mickey. The look on his face changes the moment he looks at Mickey’s angry stare that is directed at him and Caleb, at least Ian has the decency to start looking guilty for bringing the asshole. Before Mickey starts totally losing it and demanding that the fucker gets out of his house, Carl comes and stands next to Mickey.   
  
“I told Ian to leave, he shouldn’t have brought Caleb around here, it’s fucking _disrespectful_ and shit” Carl puffs out protectively by Mickey’s side standing with his chest out and his arms crossed whilst he glares up at his brother. Ian gets just as protective, more so over himself.   
  
“This is a family meeting, I’m _family_ , I have a right to be here” he says through his teeth. He stares at Carl who laughs at him and draws his eyes away from his brother  
  
“Family my _ass_ ”   
  
Ian winces when Carl grunts that out, but regains his composure quickly. Mickey glances over at Lip who is leaning down at the table talking to Debbie and Fiona. Fiona nods and then puts her mothering tone on as she tries to calm the situation down.   
  
“You have every right to be here sweet face, but this is a family matter and, no offence Caleb, it should just be family here ”   
  
Ian won’t even look at Mickey now, he’s turned his attention to where Fiona is seated at the table. Caleb is still staring at Mickey though. His gaze is unwavering and Mickey is so close to losing his shit at this asshole.   
  
“Why do this here?” Ian whines out, he doesn’t sound angry though, more pained than anything. What he says brings Mickey’s attention away from Caleb and back on to Ian. Mickey rolls his eyes, like he actually _wants_ this Gallagher shit show going on in his home. Debbie sighs loudly, flipping her hair over her shoulder and placing the pen in her hand down on the paper where she had been writing down possible ideas on how to get rid of Monica, that’s now forgotten due to Ian’s boyfriend’s presence, the new topic of conversation now.   
  
“Because _we_ live here, and Monica’s at Fiona’s so we couldn’t do it there” Debbie says bluntly, pointing between herself and Carl who is still standing next to Mickey staring Ian down. Ian’s jaw practically drops to the ground as he looks between his two younger siblings.  
  
“You… You both _live_ here? Since when?” he stutters out, a pained expression on his face.  
  
“Over a month now, you’d know if you fucking bothered to talk to us. I moved in the day Monica showed up, the day you flipped out over Mickey and Caleb _punched_ him for no reason” Carl huffs out, and then gives Ian the finger when Ian glares over at him. Ian then looks at Mickey, his face softening from the scowl that was directed at his brother, he opens his mouth to speak but Caleb starts laughing darkly and then starts talking at everyone like they’re idiots.  
  
“I had a _reason_ , do any of you even know what Mickey has done to Ian in the past?”   
  
All the Gallagher’s start looking between each other in question, no one has a clue to what he’s talking about. Mickey’s just as dumbfounded, what has Ian said? What is this guy talking about?   
  
“Caleb…” Ian immediately tries to interject, placing a hand on his boyfriend’s chest, eye’s wide with fright which just has Mickey more interested in whatever Caleb has to say. Mickey has been quiet this whole time, but he breaks his silence, he wants to know what Ian has told his boyfriend about him.   
  
“No, Let him speak, I’d like to hear about everything I’ve done to you Gallagher. Please, go ahead Meathead, enlighten me on what I’ve done to precious little Ian” he snarls out, taking a step closer to the pair. He won’t even look at Ian, he can already tell this is going to be the nail in any type of friendship/ relationship they could salvage just by the look in Ian’s boyfriends face.   
  
“You abused him physically and mentally for years, he had no idea how to act in a real loving relationship because he was so destroyed from all the abuse you put him through and…”   
  
Mickey zones out as he feels a wave of guilt hit him, he did do all of that but, he was messed up and that happened a long time ago. Ian understood why, didn’t he? He didn’t actually fuck Ian up over all of the shit he did back then, did he? He’s terrified to look at anyone right now, he feels so fucking ashamed to have had them all hear that, do they all think that to? He wants to know if they think the same thing, so he musters up the courage to dart his eyes around the room.   
  
Carl looks shocked at what he’s hearing, he’s looking at Mickey in confusion. It hurts.   
Debbie just looks at him in much the same way. That hurts more.   
Fiona and Lip don’t look surprised, they obviously knew about it, they’re both looking at Ian with pity.   
  
He’s always felt guilty about all of that shit, he thought Ian understood though. He chances a glance over at Ian, who is looking over at everyone’s expressions too, when his eyes land on Mickey he quickly looks away and glares at his boyfriend.  
  
“Caleb, please…” Ian tries to walk his boyfriend outside, but Caleb won’t budge. He’s been looking at all of the Gallagher’s reactions to what he just said too, and he isn’t finished. Mickey’s heard enough though, he’s terrified about what Ian might’ve also said.   
  
“Do they all know that you married a woman because you were too much of a pussy to admit you were gay, even to yourself and the guy you would let fuck you? And the woman you married, you knocked her up…”   
  
Mickey knows where this story is leading. He doesn’t want to be reminded of the reason he married Svetlana, he’s tried to bury that memory away. He can’t handle hearing it, he can’t handle them all knowing…   
  
“Shut up” Mickey says through gritted teeth, his fists are clenched, knuckles white, by his side.  
  
“… **The day** …” that asshole keeps talking. Mickey shuts his eyes tightly, his jaw clenched shut just as tight.  
  
“…STOP CALEB” he can hear Ian screaming, panic making his voice quiver.  
  
“… **Your dad** …” Caleb’s voice is loud, so _loud_. It’s ringing in Mickey’s ears and the rest of the house is shrouded in deafening silence, Caleb’s voice and Ian’s protests to get him to stop talking are the only noise in the room.   
  
_Shut up shut up shut up!_ Mickey tries to say but his mouth won’t move, his tongue feels thick and dry in his mouth as he tries to swallow, tries to speak, tries to get this man to just stop talking.   
  
“… **Had her** …”   
  
“don’t” he manages to say in a loud and shaky breath. Eyes still shut tight, hands still clenched.   
  
“… **Rape you** …”   
  
A collective gasp runs through the room. Mickey’s ears are ringing, his eyes are closed and he feels a burning heat behind them. He can’t breathe, he can’t move. Slowly he opens his eyes and stares straight at Ian’s pale face.   
  
“You’ve got to be kidding me, you told him that?”   
  
He’s so hurt, he feels so betrayed. He hasn’t told a single sole about that day, not even Mandy. How could Ian tell somebody about that day? Ian doesn’t say a thing. He just stands there looking like a fucking kicked puppy. If Mickey could make his body move right now, he wouldn’t hesitate on giving Ian the beating of his life, might as well, everybody already thinks he’s been abusing him for years anyways.   
  
“Are you denying it all? That you used to beat him, fuck him and then throw him away? Not always in that order, apparently you also would fuck him and then beat him, just to mix it up right? Let’s not forget that you’d never kiss him or show him any type of affection, you’d call him names and pretend you didn’t know him if people saw you just hanging around together. Marrying the whore that raped you and pushing Ian away, like _he_ was the piece of trash?… Is that not all true?”   
  
It’s not though. Ian started the fight the first time with the tire iron, he could’ve smashed that fuckers head in that day, he kind of wishes he did now. He only remembers one real physical fight with Ian, the day he tried to talk to Mickey after the Svetlana incident had happened and he beat the shit out of him… He was messed up then, _really_ fucking messed up and Ian pushed and pushed and… he broke.   
  
The other time they fought each other at the dug outs Ian had yelled at him for babying him and said he wanted his southside piece of trash back, told him that if Ian has a limp dick to suck it harder… then Ian had taken the first swing at him, yeah they fought then too.   
  
Mickey pushed Ian away, Ian pushed his buttons to get him to react. It's what they did in the beginning but...   
  
He’d eventually kissed Ian, he’d been affectionate and Ian turned around and called him his nurse, his caretaker because of it. He said he didn’t want that. At least he was faithful throughout their relationship, when they were actually together until Ian bailed on him, Ian never was. His guilt faded away and pure rage and hatred took over. He was done now, that’s for sure.  
  
“Get out!! All of you, have your family meeting fucking elsewhere.” He screamed at them all. Nobody moved. Ian flinched the hardest at his voice and Mickey saw Caleb wrap his arm around him protectively. Jesus, he had the act of abuse victim down to perfection.  
  
“Mickey…” Debbie said as she walked over to him, tears in her eyes. Mickey backed away, he didn’t want to be touched right now.   
  
“You and Carl can come back later if you still want to stay here with me, with your brother’s _abuser_ …” He said to her whilst he held his eyes firmly to Ian’s. Ian just shook his head at him. She tried to approach him again and he took a step back shaking his head.  
  
“Don’t… Not right now Debs, I just need you all to go…”   
  
He kept his eyes on the floor now, too humiliated to look at anyone. He looked up when she took a step back and walked away looping her arms around Carl’s and dragging him away. She turned to the rest of the people, who were still not moving. Fiona was gaping at Ian and taking tentative glances at Mickey.  
  
“Okay, c’mon guys let’s go” Debbie said as she began to usher everyone out. Fiona, Debbie and Carl left first. Caleb walking past with his arm still over Ian’s shoulder, Ian wouldn’t look at Mickey. As he walked past, Mickey sneered at him, talking lowly but loud enough for the redhead to hear clearly   
  
“I never want to fucking see your face again”   
  
Ian stopped and turned around, causing Caleb to stop also. Mickey didn’t bother acknowledging the guy, he kept his hate filled eyes on Ian.  
  
“Mickey…” Ian started to speak, face completely pale, eyes brimming with tears.   
  
“Never, again… You remember when you asked me at the ball’s party if I hated you and I said I never could hate you, no matter how much I wanted too?”   
  
Ian nodded, ignoring Caleb’s request to keep moving.   
  
“Well, _now_ I fucking hate you. Congratu-fucking-lations”   
  
Mickey turned around, not bothering to see Ian’s reaction, he heard the sharp intake of breath that Ian took as Mickey walked away though. He didn’t care. Lip was standing by the table, waiting to talk to Mickey about something, Mickey didn’t care about that either.  
  
“You’re on your own now with your Ian problem man, I’m out.”   
  
Lip nodded and packed up the forgotten ‘ideas to get rid of Monica’ paper and followed the rest of his family out of the house and closed the door leaving Mickey alone in the house, feeling suffocated by the deafening silence and the pit of rage growing inside of him.  
  
He walked shakily towards the couch, sitting down softly. His movements felt robotic. He sat there for hours just staring into space, stuck with that god damned day racing over and over again in his mind. He sat there for hours, thinking about nothing and everything, until he heard the door creak open. He didn’t move, even when he felt the presence of the two young Gallagher’s in the living room. Nobody said anything for a long time, he could feel them both looking at him, but he was beyond caring right now. Eventually he heard footsteps approaching him, Debbie bent down in front of him drawing his eyes onto her figure.  
  
“You should go to bed Mickey, its late”   
  
He just hummed in agreement, blinking his eyes rapidly, he’d been staring so long that his eyes felt dry and gritty. He rubbed at them with the heel of his palm, causing flashes of light to flicker behind his eyelids. He stood up and went to walk to his room past Debbie and Carl who were both just standing watching him. Before he had made it to his doorway he felt the weight of a body hit his back and two arms squeezing him around the waist, he looked down at the arms littered with freckles, Debbie. He initially flinched at the foreign contact, she was hugging him after all, but eventually he patted her arm in return of the affectionate gesture. He heard her sniff from behind him and he craned his neck so he could look over his shoulder at her, she looked up at him and smiled, tears glistening in her eyes.  
  
“Mickey, don’t get mad at me but I’m gonna tell you something because I think you really need to hear it right now… I know you hate this kind of shit but….I’m sorry what your dad did to you, and… I think you’re an amazing guy, no matter what shit happened in your past, whatever you did... who you are now is all that’s important to me and… I… I love you”   
  
He raised his eyebrows at her, she just smiled at his shocked expression and let him go, making her way up the stairs like she didn’t just drop the L bomb on him. He watched her go and then felt Carl pat him firmly on the back.  
  
“ I’ll see you in the morning man… and, like… What Deb’s said… ditto, but not in the gay way or anything”   
  
And then Carl quickly left, just as uncomfortable with the emotional bullshit as Mickey was. Mickey choked out a laugh at Carl and then shook himself off and headed to his room in complete awe that he still had Debbie and Carl by his side even after they heard the horror stories about him tonight.  
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
  
When Mickey awoke the next day he was expecting Carl and Debbie to act differently towards him now. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was expecting, looks of pity because of Terry’s attempt at corrective rape, disappointment because of what he had done to Ian, maybe even fear that they would be the next in line to meet his fists? What he didn’t expect was things to be completely normal, well, _normal_ for them anyway.   
  
Debbie was feeding Franny at the table and looking over her assignments when he walked into the kitchen.   
  
“Coffee’s already made, and there’s a packed lunch for you on the counter. House roster has you up for making dinner tonight so you might wanna go to the grocery store after work” She said to him without looking up from her homework as she chewed on her pen.   
  
He threw a couple of pop tarts in the toaster and poured a cup of coffee for himself, his eyes kept flicking over to Debbie to see if she was looking at him differently, but she was engrossed in her work and trying to feed Franny at the same time, like she did most mornings. When he sat down at the table, she finally looked up at him and smiled.  
  
Carl came barrelling into the room, grunting at the both of them as he stole one of Mickey’s pop tarts from his plate and began eating it as he made his way to the fridge.   
  
“Aye! Get your own fucking breakfast you cheeky shit” Mickey growled out. Carl was drinking orange juice straight out of the container when Mickey spoke, he just flipped Mickey off and then burped loudly after he swallowed the last of the juice, sticky orange liquid trailing from his mouth down to his chin.  
  
“You stole my fucking breakfast yesterday, paybacks a bitch, Milkobitch!”   
  
Mickey flung himself at Carl and put the kid in a headlock, Franny giggled and clapped her hands at their rough housing and Carl let out a girly shriek when Mickey flicked his nipple as hard as he could.   
  
“That’s what you get for walking around topless, you leave yourself exposed for torture kid” Mickey told him once he let Carl go. Carl just flipped him off, rubbing at his sore nipple and then made his way to the shower, yelling out ‘pervert’ when he was a safe distance away from Mickey, which was behind the locked bathroom door. Debbie rolled her eyes at Mickey muttering “boys” under her breath.  
  
Yep, the morning was the same as usual and Mickey couldn't feel more relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that was rough... BUT...
> 
> Next chapter will be from Ian's POV, so you'll all get to see what's going in Ian's head a little.
> 
> Thanks for reading, let me know what you think in the comments!!


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